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Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Bachelorette Des- Episode 1

AAAAnd we're back!
I can't tell you how excited I am to have some good TV back in my life!

Bachelorette Des... how do we feel about her? Do we like her? Think she is cute?

-Her civic is about to fall apart
-Nice blue Bentley.
-She has gotten even skinnier
-Her make up artist must be an intern. It's terrible
-She had cried 3 times within the first 12 minutes of the show
-How awkward... "ok, now we want you to go chase the birds and then dip your feet in the Ocean"
[Lane quickly pointed out that I would gladly go chase birds if I was getting paid was Des was getting paid]


Des- Loved her dress. It was a long, skinny, disco ball.

No shirt stripper- Why was he naked on his balcony? That's how he creatively keeps himself entertained ???? Put a shirt on....or don't. I mean, you're abs are not ugly. 

Liam Hensworth- LA ad agency. "twirling sign inventor" Do we really think he started the sign twirling business? Riiiight. He looks so much like Liam (Mylie Cyrus's fiance) it's unreal.

Knight in shinning armor- I'm surprised this move hasn't been tried before. I felt so bad for him though because all the guys in the house were ripping on him.

Hot dad Ben- Yes, you played the kid card. Yes, it was a smart move. Yes, I really like you.

Brooks- The token SLC star. I think he needs to wash his hair, but I like his name and his face is pretty cute.

The magician!!!!! My roommate in college loved a magician  so I sort of have a soft spot in my heart for a magician. He seemed normal, other than he is a magician. Hilarious. 

Overnight card- At first I thought he was trying to be funny when he handed Des the date night card when he got out of the limo, but I quickly realized he wasn't joking. WHAT A FREAK. He totally had a Jake Pavelka vibe. I mean, he was seriously doing push ups to try and prep? Creepy city. 

Iraq war veteran- He seems really nice and normal. How funny was it that Des laughed at him when he said his dog was his BFF?

Juan Pablo- Say "who" now say "one" Who-one 
How could Des seriously not say "Pablo?" She should just call him JP.

Kasey- #youreannoying #stopsayinghashtag #yourenotfunny #orcute

Larry- wouldn't you just die if he was your doctor? Also, maybe he isn't a doctor because it seemed more like he was a magician trying to make his glasses disappear and reappear like every 2 seconds during his one-on-one time with Des. 
Also, how did he get 50 people to let him practice dipping them?

Chicago high-fiver- His face looks like Hitch(Will Smith) after he has an allergic reaction. Please tell me you know what I'm talking about. 

The dental student- Bad move to wear your lab coat. It's ugly. You're no McDreamy or McSteamy. You are more a ballroom dancer.


Bring on the man tears
Spray tans
Abs
Fist punches
Dramamama!

You know there's nothing I love more.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Bachelor Sean + Catherine 4 evaaaa

Team Catherine!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I totally called that, and I'm so glad I was right. I'm also glad that Sean made the right decision. 

Sean's Dad gets sweetest, most tender Dad in America award. I was literally tearing up when he told Catherine he would love her and be her biggest fan. Through the watery eyes, I rewinded and watched again. Yep, judge me twice. 

Sean's sister loves the mini shorts. Her husband was pretty attractive. Their kids should be models. They really were so adorable looking. 

Sean's family is the most normal family to grace the bachelor set. They issued sound advice and were very genuine. 

Lindsey and Sean's date was pretty boring to me. 
And how did Sean call that a raft? A) it wasn't inflatable, and B) it came with 2 rowers. I've never seen one of those "rafts" in the seasonable sections of Wal-mart OR Target.
--The water was disgustingly brown but the scenery greenery made up for it.
"I love you"
"I know"
Let me tell you something... sometimes my husband also responds with "I know" when he's trying to be funny and even though I know he's 100% joking (right, Lane??) it still bugs me. I can't imagine how bugged I would be if I didn't know AND I got an "I know." Being on The Bachelor is so hard.

--Catherine's giggle makes me laugh. She laughs when she is nervous and I think that's why I like her. I too laugh when I'm nervous, or hurt, or scared....basically I laugh all the time, and it doesn't mean it's funny... it could really mean anything.
--I WANT TO RIDE AN ELEPHANT!
It seems really awkward, but super cool at the same time. Worth the bumpy ride, for sure.

The break up
--It was so obvious how much Lindsey liked Sean. She really did love him and had no doubts that he was going to pick her, so it was so hard to watch the rejection. 
--Can I just say something? Lindsey was the classiest exit ever. She went from a vegas wedding drunk to the most mature 24 year old around. Quite the behavior change from the first episode to the last. 
--I LOVED that she took her shoes off to walk out. It was like, "ok, I'm done trying to impress you with these awful shoes."
--I didn't love her dress at all. And by that I mean I hated it. 

The Letter
--Although it wasn't a "run away with me" letter from host, Chris Harrison, like I was hoping, I still liked the letter. It was TOTALLY played up to be more dramatic than it was, but that my friends, is the beauty of reality TV and production. 

The Proposal
--I cried. Then I screamed. Then I fist pumped. No surprise there. 
--Catherine's reaction was so real, but also so uncomfortable to watch. I wasn't sure if she was mad, sad, scared, shocked, frozen, happy...Sean couldn't get down on one knee fast enough. 
--Her dress was beyond bomb. 
--I'm glad the producers wrangled up an elephant chair (yes, that's what they are called--my parent's actually have one from Thailand) for the romantic exit. It would have been tragic if she ruined that dress trying to hoist herself up to the top of the 'magestic animal.'


After the final rose
--AshLee is still so bitter...and smokin' and skiiiiiiny
--I really need to look into tickets for next season
--Lesley D.C. Murphy is the funniest ever, and she thinks so too.  Did you notice that she laughed at her own pun? Don't worry, L. I laugh at my own jokes, too.
The couple that multiplies together, stays together.
--Nothing says I'm over you like looking super hotttt, Lindsey Yenter. She, once again, was a class act. I felt bad that she kept asking Sean for reasons why, because time and time again, he just didn't have the answer she was looking for. Loved her dress.

--Catherine and Sean made me tear up a jillion times during their interviews. Are they not the most darling couple ever?
--A TV WEDDING = MY DREAM COME TRUE
I would have never guessed they would be into that, but I couldn't be more pleased with their decision. Since I've been so good at calling the future this season, I'm going to go ahead and say that Chris Harrison will either marry them OR be Sean's best man. 


The next bachelorette
--I called it, did I not? OK, maybe all of America called it.
--Was it just me or did Des not look as pretty tonight as I think she normally is? Was it the white eye shadow? The no bangs look?

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Women Tell All -- On KUTV

Below is the segment that aired on KUTV's Fresh Living on Tuesday. 
Dad got a shout-out...or  maybe got thrown under the bus? You decide.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Bachelor Sean- The Women Tell All

How did I not know about the option of Sean and Chris Harrison coming to my bachelor viewing party? I would have made one heck of a viewing party experience for them. Roses, homemade t-shirts, a chocolate fountain (I've done this a time or two before)
Maybe I'll have to become a DG at UCLA for next season and cross my fingers.
I'm going to be so sad about this missed opportunity for years to come.
SHIRT OFF! SHIRT OFF! SHIRT OFF! SHIRT OFF! SHIRT OFF! SHIRT OFF!
Is that all you have to do to get men to take their shirts off? It is for Sean, apparently. 

--Video clip recaps of the show's highlights are always so awesome. There's nothing quite like cramming crazy into 5 minutes. 

--Who were the 3 girls sitting on the left, back row? I think they should only bring back the girls that we remember and actually care about. 

--Tierra is an idiot for coming back on the show. Some may call her brave or mature, but I just call her ridiculous. You might call me a coward, but if I was her, I would have stayed home, in sweats, with a bowl of ice cream and watched the episode on my couch. Why would anyone put them self in a situation where they are repeatedly attacked? If she thought she was "ganged up on" when one of the girls confronted her on the show, what did she think ALL of them confronting her was?
Whether she went back on the show or not, everyone is going to talk about how Tierrable she is. I'd rather just not hear it to my face.

TRUE OR FALSE: Tierra's eyebrow stole the show. For reals. I've tried to figure out how it does that, but I'm stumped.

--Tierra can't remember every detail AND can't control her eyebrow? Poor girl has some serious trubs.
--Did you see how much perfume she put on before she went on stage? That was like 6 sprays. Fumes are going to her brain!
--Do you think her engagement is fake? I hadn't thought about that as a possibility until Chris Harrison brought it up, but now that he did, I could totally see her doing that. I would believe it, if the heart tattoo on her finger has been changed from open to closed, but alas, her diamond was too big for me to tell.

--Lesley is still hilarious. "Tierra made her own bed, or cot, or whatever."

--Selma is a beauty queen--a beauty queen with a brain. She had quite the intellectual argument last night. If you can't tell, I'm a huge Selma fan.  

--I have to say something rude, but I would bet many of you are thinking it, so here it goes...
Sarah is getting extra attention because she has a sad story of being led on by guys and then being told she's just not the one. Do you believe it? I don't. I believe it's because that happens to her AND she only has 1 arm. Plenty of other girls (girls with 2 arms) have had sad, teary exits about hoping to find their soul mate  and they don't get remembered past their final exit. If Sarah had 2 arms, she wouldn't be getting as much attention. There, I said it. 
--On another(nicer) note: Sarah looked beautiful!

--AshLee's hair looked so perfect. Full, bouncy. I got the hair envy bad. And her bod is rockin. I got body envy. Something I don't envy? Her crazy side.
Girl's got some serious attitude. 
Preacher's daughter is loco. 
She can bring it. 
When she started yelling at Tierra, I was getting nervous. Her eye went all crazy! I think AshLee is equal parts sweet and sour. 

--Do you think Sean really told her that he didn't have feelings for the other 2 girls? Part of me believes that he said that to her, or said something close to that and she interpreted it as that, but still....DRAMA. 
Why else would she feel so comfortable to actually tell him what kind of ring she wants? I think he probably led her on. Team Ashley on this argument.
How awkward was it when she started talking to him like he was her baby nephew? "Sean, don't do this. Just admit it." Like her head was all titled down and her eyebrow was up all condescendingly. 
I was loving the continued argument that was caught on tape before the show came back from commercial break. Sean's going to have some explaining to do with his other two girlfriends after the show.

--When will ABC air an entire episode of just bloopers? That would be, by far, the best episode ever. Or maybe an episode of fantasy suites? Now keep it clean...we are talking about Sean, the "born-again" virgin - I'd just love to hear the one-liners Sean's been throwing around. 

--Who do you think the letter is from? I think it's from Chris Harrison and goes something like this:
Sean-
It's me, your host, Chris Harrison.
I had so much fun in the limo with you when we visited girl's college dorm rooms. If you chose to forgo this final rose ceremony, I'd invite you to travel LA with me and go sorority  hopping. 
-Chris Harrison

Who wants to join me for a season final viewing party next week? Seriously, let me know and we will make it a party... roses and all!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Overnight dates on KUTV!

Below is the segment that aired on KUTV's Fresh Living on Tuesday. 
It's totally OK that I call myself a sucker, right?

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Bachelor Sean- Episode #9- The overnights

The overnights are always the most hilarious of the dates because as viewers, we are supposed to pretend like we don't know what happens when the couple spends the night in the fantasy suite, but let's be real... I've never seen Monopoly or Uno laying around, however, I have seen lots of candles, beds, rose petals, hot tubs and low lighting. Thanks, Chris Harrison.
Now, I have to say that I might just be sucked into Sean enough to believe that he really used the overnight dates as a time to talk and get to know the girls without taking the intimacy in the relationship to the next level. I know, I'm a total sucker. I chose to believe this reality. And by fantasy, I mean the opposite of reality, obviously. 

Lindsey
-My dad called me this week(of course he watches the show...that's why it runs in my blood) and told me that I am being too hard on Lindsey, so I tried to watch with an open mind this time and I must say that I liked her a little more this episode.
-"Thailand is nothing like Missouri!" Really, Linds? Are you surprised by this? Comparing the arm pit (no offense) of America to exotic islands in Asia? 
-How did she eat bugs? I'll give her props because I would have been a major diva and said not a chance, homie. And not only did she eat a bug, she ate multiple bugs. And then kissed Sean after they had eaten bugs. That's just really disgusting. 
-I thought it was cute and really 'normal' that Lindsey was afraid to tell Sean the L word. Seemed genuine
-Lindsey's favorite words are cute and amazing. Throw in some baby talk and you've conquered a Lindsey impression.

AshLee
-She loves running to Sean
-She also loves throwing her arms up and yelling things. Maybe she was a cheerleader in HS
-Even more than running and cheer poses, she loves metaphors and calling Sean 'this man'
-I appreciated their Titanic pose on the front of the boat
-The private beach was the coolest thing I've ever seen and although the cave was sweet, I would have been scared too.
-Is Sean surprised at how controlling AshLee is? She is a professional organizer, aka, she lives for order and placement and consistency. 
-I felt like Sean wanted to like AshLee because she was sweet and had so much love to give, and it stroked his ego to know that he was protecting her and giving her strength. He totally thrived on that.
-Were you dying laughing when she described her wedding ring? I totally was. Doesn't she know that Neil Lane doesn't produce ugly diamond rings and she would have been fine with anything he bought? Regardless, I love that she did it. Girl knows what she wants.

Catherine
-Moments during her date were dejavu from AshLee's date-- running to Sean? Titanic pose? What's better than one of each of those? Two times of each of those things!
-Catherine is Sean's best friend? Oh, I thought he already told Lindsey that!? Seeaannnnnn ....
-She became my insta favorite when she told Sean he was beefy and hunky. I'm totally stealing that. I love incorporating Bachelor quotes into my everyday verbiage.
-Sean was dishing out the sweetest comments to Catherine that were original and not the typical "you are amazing" and "you're special" so I've changed my vote. I now think Sean picks Catherine. Oh, I hope he does. They would have the best looking children. Do it for the children, Sean!
-Oh, and have you ever had a multiplication war on a date before? Yeah, me neither.

-The personal videos always make me laugh. I wouldn't be able to make a serious one. Mine would start with "heyo" or "holler" and end with "love you, homie" or something similar. I could never sit there and bawl about my love and soul connection in front of cameras and producers holding up cue cards.
-Although cheesy, Lindsey's ending line about starting and ending the journey in a wedding dress was kinda cute.

The Rose Ceremony
-AshLee was putting it(them) all out there, now wasn't she?
-Loved the color of Catherine's dress
-I was literally dying waiting for Sean to call the second name. I had a feeling that it was going to be Catherine, but I was just anxious to see AshLee's eyes when he didn't call her name. Those eyes can kill.
-I thought AshLee was going to lash out in anger against Sean and we were going to have a raging AshLee 2.0 a la Tierra fame. 
-Do you think it was rude that AshLee didn't really give Sean the chance to explain? I think it's interesting because we hold these girls to different standards because they are in the public eye; for example, had that been a private relationship, her reaction was probably justified and totally normal, but because it was TV, we will all sit and talk about how dramatic her exit was and make a huge deal out of it. And for that, I thank the Bachelor. 

Can't wait for the women tell all next week!
I really hope Tierra's eyebrow makes an appearance so we can get it's perspective on the whole thing!


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Hometown reviews on KUTV!

Below is the segment that aired on KUTV2 on Tuesday, aka, the day after. Enjoy!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Bachelor Sean- Episode #8 recap- Hometown dates

Oh, the hometown dates! This is just about when this show gets good. 
**Don't forget to check back tomorrow, under the video tab above, for my Bachelor Babblings recap that airs on KUTV Channel 2**

AshLee
-On a scale of 1-boring, her date was a snooze fest
-It's funny how much she refers to Sean as "this man"
-Do guys like it when you compare them to your dad? I know girls don't particularly love to be compared to their (potential) mother in law, for the most part, so I'm curious to hear a guys perspective. 
-AshLee uses too many metaphors about abandonment, fulling submerging, leaving herself behind. She needs to abandon the metaphors
-Her parents seem like really sweet people, but it was seriously boring city. 
-I would think that her intensity would be a bit of a turn off, but apparently Sean is eating it up. For as much as he talks about his sense of adventure and loving to act like a kid, he doesn't show any of that when he's with her.

Catherine
-I'll be honest, I rewinded her date and watched it twice, just so I can figure out how to be more like her. I think she is so pretty, so fun and super sweet. Oh, and like totally normal!!!
-How do I get skin like hers? How do I get hair like hers? I tried Ovation, but I'll try it again if that's the end result.
-Throwing fish is disgusting. First, fish smells awful. Second, fish juice was flying everywhere! Third, combine reason one and two!
-Catherine's grandma was the bomb. I can't wait to be a grandma and say how hot younger men look and totally get away with it.

Wedding dress
-Yes, I'm going to throw my husband under the bus and tell you that he watched with me again because... he likes Wedding dress and I just can't get on board with her. I need to forgive and forget the first episode's wardrobe fiasco, but I just can't. Why didn't her parents seem more appalled and embarrassed for her when she told them what she did? My mom would have told me to never get on that crazy train again.
-Husband says she seems like a good mix of fun and sincerity, and I can understand that. 
-Her mom and dad seemed pretty cool/genuine 
-Do you think her brother is mad he didn't get any face time?

Des
-I was really hoping that her hometown date was going to take place in a tent, complete with tribal dances and a campfire, but alas, it was in Des' home that was super nice. Did you see the pool in her backyard? Fancy schmancy.
-Des' prank was the best thing of all time! I fell for it too, until she said that she needed to tell Sean something. I was hoping so bad that Sean was going to throw a punch. Talk about a prank gone bad! If ABC was smart, they would have staged that.
-When Lane saw Des's parents he "called foul play" hahaha. How did Des turn out to be so beautiful? Looks aside, her parents seemed like the sweetest, most loving people ever, so you can totally see why Des is the way she is. 
-Des' brother was a real treat, like an ex con kinda treat. He's probably bitter that he inked hideous tats all over his arms AND that Des got all the looks AND that she uses proper grammar and he's dumb. Just a guess. Although, he did say "Sean, can I holler at you" which is one of my favorite phrases of all time, so I like him a little bit.
-I felt so bad for Des because her brother totally blew it for her. I thought she was going to be top 2.
-You heard it here first--I'm starting this rumor--Des is going to be the next bachelorette. 

Sean
-He told every girl's parents that their daughter was special. I'm beginning to think his vocabulary is on par with Des' brother. 
-I really thought he was going to send AshLee home. She just doesn't seem as fun as he claims to like.
-He was anti Des because of her brother and he was anti Catherine because she isn't ready to settle down. I would think he would get over Des' brother once he realized his intentions were real and it would be a sure thing, rather than the huge possibility that Catherine isn't ready for a big commitment. 
-Note to all boys: girls don't want to hear that you think you might be making a mistake and that you are really going to miss them when you break up with them. Hearing those things only makes it harder!!! Well, that, or they are going to think you are saying those things as a cop out for not wanting to be together and will hate you even more than they do in that moment. 
-I haven't read any spoilers, but I'm starting to think Wedding dress is going to win, and if that's the case, I won't feel any connection to them. I'm team Catherine at this point.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Bachelor Sean- Episode #7 recap

This was the episode of the best one liners ever.

Tierra "She (AshLee) is 32. You should be married with kids by now"
Lesley "I just want to roll her (Tierra) cot into the ocean
Tierra "Men love me"
Tierra "I can't control my eyebrow. I can't control my face. I can't smile 24/7 because my mouth would hurt"
Tierra "They can't take my sparkle away!"

AshLee
-I'm glad AshLee thought it was normal to yell that she loved Sean. How romantic
-Sometimes AshLee's eyes scare me
-AshLee has a little crazy in her! I was pretty shocked at how aggressive she was during her altercation with Tierra. I thought she was all butterflies and roses, but home girl has a mean streak.
-I think it's hilarious that she was married at 17. Sounds like a new plot for a MTV show: Married in High School.


Tierra
-Isn't St.Croix the perfect place to have a meltdown?
-How fitting that Tierra was worried about her make up dripping off her face on her around the town date? She should have been more worries about her awful rat's nest, I mean, ponytail on her head.
-I felt really weird when Tierra started dancing because her moves aren't good.
-Why was Sean carrying a man purse/tote? 
-Telling Sean she was falling in love with him was so awkward because you could tell she was reaching, trying so hard, to salvage the date. It didn't flow.
-I couldn't be more happy that Tierra acknowledged the eyebrow!!! We have all been wondering what is up (no pun intended, Ok, maybe I did) with that thing, so I'm glad she is aware there is a serious problem with that thing. 
-I love that she pulled out the z formation/finger snap/talk to the hand gesture during her fight with AshLee. She was totally acting like the "24 year old, grown woman" that she is.
-Tierra - earth to Tierra. NO ONE wants your sparkle. Trust me.

I can't wait for Tierra to appear on the Women Tell All and see what she has to say. It's going to be good, people. Real good.


Group date
-I think it's great that Sean woke the girls up to see them without makeup. Hey, that's a real thing. I mean, I look awful sans make up, so you better believe I hid that from Lane until we got married! 
-How did Des always have shotgun? I would have felt like the chaperon little sister sitting in the back of the Jeep.
-Des has a rockin' bod
-Catherine has beautiful locks
-Speaking of Catherine, she seems super insecure in her relationship with Sean. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame her, but it's making for some awkward moments.
-Wedding dress still bugs me. I guess I just can't get over the wedding dress arrival. She's not my fav.
-Why do all the women cry when they talk about their families? I am obsessed with my family but I don't cry when I talk about them. What am I doing wrong?

-I could never go on this show because I don't have anything traumatic that has happened to me..
I grew up in a home, not a tent
My friend has never been killed by a tree
Both my parents are emotionally stable and have never tried to kill themselves
...Guess I'm just bore city.

Lesley
-I think I loved her skirt but didn't love that she kept holding it up weird. PLUS, did you notice that she sat with one leg up while they were on the grass?? That's the sitting position for yoga pants, not a sheer mini skirt.
-I know it was probably editing, but it seemed like there was a lot of awkward pausing in her and Sean's time together
-She went to pick fruit while AshLee went to a private island? 


Sean
-His face was more red than I could have ever imagined. I don't know how that happens. 
-He says the exact same thing to every girl... he's proud of them for opening up. They have an amazing connection. He could see a future with them. LET'S GET ORIGINAL.
-Glad your moment of clarification took weeks. 
-Did his sister really have to come for therapy? Seemed more like a time filler than anything.

I like Des the best but she seems maybe too fun for Sean. 
Catherine is gorgeous and seems fun but has a chill (boring) Sean side. 
Wedding dress - bleh
AshLee- I have a feeling that she goes far.

What are your predictions? And who do you want to win? 
I haven't head any spoilers so don't ruin it for me!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Bachelor Sean - episode #6 recap

Nothing can bring me down after 4 hours of Bachelor viewing in one week! Heaven!

Canada, eh? The scenery was gorgeous, but I'm ready for foreign travel. And let's be honest, so are those girls. They want more helicopter time and more stamps in their passport.

Catherine
-Poor girl had to stand, in a blizzard, in the middle of nowhere. Couldn't they have pitched a little hut for her to wait in?
-Sean asked her what he didn't know about her. I think an easier, quicker answer, would be to the question what he DOES know about her. It's killing me that he keeps telling Catherine that he knows her so well when he's only spent a few hours with her.
-I have now requested that Lane build me an ice castLe (complete with hot chocolate and a space heater) for Valentine's Day. Thanks for the idea, ABC producers!

Group date
-I love that Sean got on board with the tween phrase, You only live once. YOLO, Sean.
-The polar bear plunge seemed like the worst date idea ever. Cold. Wet. Freezing. I love that Selma refused.
-Hypothermia: Tierra- don't you know that the cure for hypothermia is to get in a sleeping bag(or something similar) and get naked with someone else to share body heat? FYI-I'm not being gross here... I legitimately learned that in elementary school and it clearly left an impression on me. I was sure Tierra was going to pull a stunt like that.
-Lesley told Sean that she loves love...NOT GOOD. Kim Kardashian once said that she loves love and look how she's turned out. 

-"We have a Tierrorist on our hands!" - Lesley 
(I'm just loving the quotes she's throwing around lately)

-I genuinely felt bad for Sarah. She really was the sweetest girl and was 100% blind sided when Sean sent her home. I saw it coming, but my heart still hurt for her.

Des
-I'm glad that Des stuck to the script and gave a descriptive analogy on how her relationship is like climbing down a rock and accomplishing hard things. She passes the test.
-I think it's really weird they climbed a tree
-She lives in a tent? I'm sorry, call me ignorant but I just can't figure out how you live in a tent. Where do you go to the bathroom? Where do you eat? 
-I like Des even more now that I know she had a crazy childhood and still turned out normal and cool.

Selma- yo mama's gonna kill you, girl!

Danniella- she looks like an 80's version of Britney Spears.

What are your thoughts? I love hearing everyone's take on our new 'friends' and their journey to find love.

Bachelor Sean- episode #5 recap

Montana? Wasn't exactly the first place that came to mind when it was announced that they were traveling the world. Beautiful, I'll give it to them, it's just not as bachelor/exotic as, say, St.Maarten. I do, however, appreciate their excitement as though St.Maarten was announced. 

Wedding dress date
-It's the return of the helicopter! 'Bout time, right?
-My heart is soaring. Get it? 
-Nothing says romantic like snuggling under a giant mounted moose head
-Who refers to their teenage years as their adolescence? 
-Who is Sarah Darling? I had no idea, but apparently, neither did anyone in the audience because no one was singing along!

Group date
-I guess Selma was going back to her Bagdad roots with that awful turban on her head. Even as pretty as she is, she still couldn't rock it.
-Is this the bachelor or the amazing race? Why does Sean (the producers) keep putting together all of these competitions for group dates? #survivalofthefittest
-Got milk? Best quote during the relay race: "Oh, what did the goat just say? She said she is going to make chocolate milk for me" Good one, Lesley

Tierra
-She feels the need to talk about how sweet, kind, big hearted and anti drama she is all the time. Talk about overcompensating. 
-Tierra said she wasn't a drama person as many times as Sean went tanning this week... way too many!
-TMI to the max. I'm not sure why she thought it was a good idea to lay all her drama out on the table so early. I get that you want boys to know who you are, but when it comes to crazy, you have to let them know that little by little...or you'll scare them off. UNLESS, they are forced by producers to continue dating to you, which in Tierra's case, iS very advantageous.
-Did she borrow a shirt from the blue team to go on her secret hunt for Sean? I hope that shirt smelled like soiled goat milk. Not sure what that smells like, but I hope it's no bueno.
-OK, have you seen the movie 'Just go with it' with Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler? Remember the woman who visits the plastic surgeon because she had a bad botox job? Her eyebrow took  on its own personality? That was a fictionalized Tierrabrow! Just think about it. I want to pull her eyebrow down every time she hits the screen.

Sean
-I felt like he was a big baby and played the poor me card too many times this week.
-He talks about how he hates when girls use their one-on-one time to talk about other girls, but then he keeps asking them questions! And then, when they don't answer, he gets frustrated that they are leaving him in the dark. He's sending mixed signals.
-Stop telling all of the girls they are special
-Stop telling all of the girls that you are crazy about them
-Let's get real, mountain man!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Bachelor Sean - episode #4 recap

Glad we started this episode with an underwear shot of Sean. Just when you think we couldn't possibly see more of Sean's bod...

Selma- aka Ashley Greene
-I didn't see it coming that she is Iraqi. 
-She seems 100% real and had some great comments during their date..."Great, take the Iraqi to the desert."
-I love that she just slipped it in that she weighs 110 lbs. We get it, you are tiny, but you really had to drop that on the first date? Seems unnecessary. 
-Why was she sitting[read: laying] so awkwardly in the plane? She might as well have just sat in Sean's lap. Probably would have been more comfortable.
-"I can strap her (Selma) to my back and climb up this rock." - Sean
Sean, I hear your claim and I raise you a 'PROVE IT.' 
Does anyone else find it ironic that Selma talks about how she can't show affection publicly but she is always dressed in the world's miniest clothes? And she claims she isn't going to kiss him until she is the last one? I mean, she's really hot, but I don't think Sean is going to keep her around THAT long if she won't even kiss him. After all, how can he propose to a woman he hasn't even kissed?

Group date
-Who came up with the idea to Roller Derby? I'm sure it seemed like a good idea in theory, but after a near-broken jaw, and a mental breakdown about physical disabilities, I think the slow skate and tribute to 80s rock love songs, was a much better choice.
-Were Sean and the wedding dress really going hot tubbing alone? Isn't that rude/awkward/bizarre for a group date?
-How were Sean and wedding dress not freaked out of their minds when Tierra just appears out of the dark space, curled in the fetal position on the ground? I would have screamed.

Speaking of Tierra, in Catherine's words, she is "Tierrable!"
[Good one, C$]
She is super annoying. I wish Sean would have just sent her home instead of coddling her. That's the most annoying--or fantastic-- thing about this show; crazies get rewarded for being crazy. 
"I'm so sensitive and emotional"
SERIOUSLY!?
That's the phrase every guy loves to hear, right?
What girl says that to a boy (who they aren't really in a relationship with) and gets the boy to stick around? Sounds like the makings of a stable relationship. I kid.

Poker dealer
-No offense but it bugged me that Sean kept saying she was pretty because to me, she isn't. Her mouth is huge and she says things like 'holy moly batman' 

-I love that Neil Lane made an early appearance this season. I can't wait for his second cameo in the final episode. 

-Sean and Poker's date was so uncomfortable. It felt like they were playing 20 questions, rather than having a conversation. I was surprised she didn't feel the same. I mean, they were in the most romantic setting and had a fancy evening and still nothing happened. Although she said she was blind sided, I feel like she had to know it was coming. 
As much as I wanted her to go home, I felt bad that she had to remove the diamond necklace on the curb. Way to kick you when you're already down.

The shot of Sean leaning over the balcony, a la Jason Mesnick and bachelor Jake style, was so symbolic of this season.
Like the rose, Sean will fall hard, and if not careful, his sensitive heart will break into pieces. 
You like that??!! 
Chris Harrison didn't even write that for me.

Robyn- don't ask Sean to taste the chocolate--awkward city
AshLee- she is Mother Teresa. Seriously the sweetest
Leslie- a tan Julia Roberts? Funny, but not true. 

Oh, and best part of the episode= out takes of Sean trying to drive the Jeep with the break on. Give us more bloopers, ABC!

I'm ready for this season to get juicy
Cheers to BACK TO BACK episodes next week!

Oh, and ATTENTION: 
Check back in a few days for an exciting announcement about my bachelor postings and recaps.
Hint: I work for a TV station.

Can't wait to share my fun news with you! 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Bachelor Sean- episode #3 recap

First of all, sorry I missed week #2. I was sick for a couple of days and just couldn't do it. Also, I know this post is a bit later than usual, but that's because I got in a car accident and I've been dealing with the drama that goes with that so anywayyyyy
Longest on-screen kiss? How awkward for so many reasons:
1-when Sean and Lesley don't get married, yeah, awkward
2-I'm pretty sure you could see her bum checks. It's like she was going for a world record of shortest skirt, too 
3-Sean was getting handsy. 
4-The announcer referred to it as a procedure! pah! I think of procedures in terms of work protocol or the medical field, not in making out with bachelor hunks for world records. How romantic.
5-it's like Lesley thought the more she moved her hands, the better the kiss would be.

Beach volleyball. I'm surprised it took the producers this long to air a bikini-clad girl on girl war. I was digging the coordinating bathing suits but it didn't make up for their lack of skills. 
The MVP award goes to Danielle, who seemed to be on the ground, diving for the ball, every time we saw her.

Kacie blew it this week. 
She has been on this show before, so you would think she knows that discussing drama with the bachelor and getting involved in issues that aren't your own ruins everything. I have never understood why girls take the only 5 minutes they get with the guy over a 7 day period to talk about someone else. 
I felt bad for her because she just lost it. 
"I want you to act like Kacie...not this crazy person I'm seeing"
OUCHIE MAMA!
Also, her dress was so short and so disco skating neon.

Tierra's fall.
ABC is notorious for over the top promos that get us excited for legit drama that ends up being so lame. Last night was no exception, even though I had hope that it was going to be good. Like she got pushed down the stairs, or one of the girls put vaseline on the stairs so she slipped, but no. I'm not even sure she actually fell. I wouldn't put it past her to just sit on the stair, make noises so it sounded like she fell, and then start crying. 
However, in her defense, I too know that when the bachelor Sean comes to your aid after you are injured, you are healed. Immediately. 

AshLee 
Did you notice she has a capital "L" in her name? I wish they would emphasize it a bit more and not pronounce it Ashley. Seems more fun. 
AshLee is cute. I think I like her but she seems a bit old for Sean. 
I think it was fun they went to 6 Flags Magic Mountain (shout out to my mom's job as a 16yr old!) but Chris Harrison should have told her not to wear a semi fancy mini dress and platform wedges. Maybe he wasn't allowed to give her a hint because uttering those few sentances would bridge his contract, as it appears he can only say "Ladies, it's time for the rose ceremony," and "this is the final rose"

I thought it was sweet they took those 2 girls with them however, I must be true to myself and say something a bit rude/weird. 
The girl with the tube in her neck: I was so nervous that her tube was going to get pushed into her neck more while they were going on high speed rides. Anyone else? Also, I feel like her excessively long hair was a hazard. That mane was flying all over the place! I'm shocked it didn't get stuck in the rides.
I also felt so awkward when there was a romantic mini concert going on and the 2 girls had to dance with one another while Sean and AshLee got fresh. Just made me feel kinda weird. 
And as if I wasn't feeling weird enough already, Sean has to cry when she tells him about her childhood. It might have been tender but I was too far into awkward to feel any other emotion.

Sarah's dog- can dog's fly alone on planes?
who gave the producers permission to get the dog from her house?

did they send the dog back home that night or is it going to stay for the rest of her time on the show?
I know it's the bachelor, but sometimes I accidentally let realistic thoughts enter my mind over the 2 hour phenom.

Rose ceremony
It's like the girls thought they were planning the white elephant game and Sean was the prize they had to steal as fast as possible. Don't they know the rule that the prize is frozen after the third steal? 

Sean tells all the girls the same thing: 
-I am really excited to see where this goes
-I just feel really comfortable with you

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Bachelor Sean- episode #1 recap

Ladies and gentlemen, it's good to be back
I'm back in the bachelor blogging world business and it feels good!

My initial thoughts on Sean:
-hot bod.hot bod.hot bod. 
(am I allowed to say that now that I'm married?)
[my friend Chelsea sent me an awesomely awkward TV screen shot of Sean standing on the rocks in his blue swim trunks...you know what I'm talking about. One word...YIIIIKES]

-I'm glad to see that his heartbreak from Emily didn't spoil his fitness regimen and whole foods diet 
-his skin color makes me feel weird because it's not even close to real. it's like his whole face is the same color
-he seems super sweet and super cheesy, which turns out, I'm into most of the time. Poor Lane
-He wants to 'be rich in love'
-He only wears American Apparel V-neck shirts that are too tight 
-His jeans are all pretty awful looking. 

-How sad/awesome is it that ABC had to bring Arie on this segment to make Sean seem funny?
-Arie and Sean's conversation about how to kiss brought back awful flashbacks of sleepovers in 6th grade
-Also, I like that 2 losers are giving love/kissing advice. Neither one of them won the last season, so maybe they should try something new? Ya know, like touch the face is the left hand and move the hair with the right? 

-What is a professional organizer?
I think I need one to come to my closet/room

-Selma just happens to carry a tissue in her bosom? Weird, me too

-The girl with the handshake: lamest handshake ever
go back to 1994, or 4th grade..whichever came first

-The cruise ship entertainer: worst hair ever. worst dress ever

-BACKBEND GIRL: thank goodness for tivo. watched that thing on repeat. frame by frame. slow motion. not sure why she thought a backbend was a good entrance, let alone in a ballgown!

-Blue 32. Blue 32. 
Oh, the pickup lines I learn from reality TV
Watch out Lane...I'm trying this one out tonight!

-A bridal gown! 
I'm actually surprised that no girls have tried this before. Aren't you? If you think about it, I'm genuinely shocked.
I can't believe Sean kept her. She was a drunken mess.

-50 shades of crazy girl
50 shades of drunk and 50 shades of embarrassing
I think you should wait to tie up your significant other until after the first kiss. I mean, unless they are into that or something. Whatever.
When the person you are trying to flirt with mentions needing a rape whistle, I think it's over.
"Don't be mad, mom!"

-Turquoise barbie has a speech impediment or doesn't open her mouth when she talks. I almost couldn't understand a word she said.

-Kacie B.
What a hot surprise. Ashley White said that she had great legs but then I reminded her that Kacie B. has an eating disorder so of course she has great legs. Disorder or not, she's hot.

Until next Monday...