Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Bachelor Sean - episode #4 recap

Glad we started this episode with an underwear shot of Sean. Just when you think we couldn't possibly see more of Sean's bod...

Selma- aka Ashley Greene
-I didn't see it coming that she is Iraqi. 
-She seems 100% real and had some great comments during their date..."Great, take the Iraqi to the desert."
-I love that she just slipped it in that she weighs 110 lbs. We get it, you are tiny, but you really had to drop that on the first date? Seems unnecessary. 
-Why was she sitting[read: laying] so awkwardly in the plane? She might as well have just sat in Sean's lap. Probably would have been more comfortable.
-"I can strap her (Selma) to my back and climb up this rock." - Sean
Sean, I hear your claim and I raise you a 'PROVE IT.' 
Does anyone else find it ironic that Selma talks about how she can't show affection publicly but she is always dressed in the world's miniest clothes? And she claims she isn't going to kiss him until she is the last one? I mean, she's really hot, but I don't think Sean is going to keep her around THAT long if she won't even kiss him. After all, how can he propose to a woman he hasn't even kissed?

Group date
-Who came up with the idea to Roller Derby? I'm sure it seemed like a good idea in theory, but after a near-broken jaw, and a mental breakdown about physical disabilities, I think the slow skate and tribute to 80s rock love songs, was a much better choice.
-Were Sean and the wedding dress really going hot tubbing alone? Isn't that rude/awkward/bizarre for a group date?
-How were Sean and wedding dress not freaked out of their minds when Tierra just appears out of the dark space, curled in the fetal position on the ground? I would have screamed.

Speaking of Tierra, in Catherine's words, she is "Tierrable!"
[Good one, C$]
She is super annoying. I wish Sean would have just sent her home instead of coddling her. That's the most annoying--or fantastic-- thing about this show; crazies get rewarded for being crazy. 
"I'm so sensitive and emotional"
That's the phrase every guy loves to hear, right?
What girl says that to a boy (who they aren't really in a relationship with) and gets the boy to stick around? Sounds like the makings of a stable relationship. I kid.

Poker dealer
-No offense but it bugged me that Sean kept saying she was pretty because to me, she isn't. Her mouth is huge and she says things like 'holy moly batman' 

-I love that Neil Lane made an early appearance this season. I can't wait for his second cameo in the final episode. 

-Sean and Poker's date was so uncomfortable. It felt like they were playing 20 questions, rather than having a conversation. I was surprised she didn't feel the same. I mean, they were in the most romantic setting and had a fancy evening and still nothing happened. Although she said she was blind sided, I feel like she had to know it was coming. 
As much as I wanted her to go home, I felt bad that she had to remove the diamond necklace on the curb. Way to kick you when you're already down.

The shot of Sean leaning over the balcony, a la Jason Mesnick and bachelor Jake style, was so symbolic of this season.
Like the rose, Sean will fall hard, and if not careful, his sensitive heart will break into pieces. 
You like that??!! 
Chris Harrison didn't even write that for me.

Robyn- don't ask Sean to taste the chocolate--awkward city
AshLee- she is Mother Teresa. Seriously the sweetest
Leslie- a tan Julia Roberts? Funny, but not true. 

Oh, and best part of the episode= out takes of Sean trying to drive the Jeep with the break on. Give us more bloopers, ABC!

I'm ready for this season to get juicy
Cheers to BACK TO BACK episodes next week!

Check back in a few days for an exciting announcement about my bachelor postings and recaps.
Hint: I work for a TV station.

Can't wait to share my fun news with you! 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Bachelor Sean- episode #3 recap

First of all, sorry I missed week #2. I was sick for a couple of days and just couldn't do it. Also, I know this post is a bit later than usual, but that's because I got in a car accident and I've been dealing with the drama that goes with that so anywayyyyy
Longest on-screen kiss? How awkward for so many reasons:
1-when Sean and Lesley don't get married, yeah, awkward
2-I'm pretty sure you could see her bum checks. It's like she was going for a world record of shortest skirt, too 
3-Sean was getting handsy. 
4-The announcer referred to it as a procedure! pah! I think of procedures in terms of work protocol or the medical field, not in making out with bachelor hunks for world records. How romantic.
5-it's like Lesley thought the more she moved her hands, the better the kiss would be.

Beach volleyball. I'm surprised it took the producers this long to air a bikini-clad girl on girl war. I was digging the coordinating bathing suits but it didn't make up for their lack of skills. 
The MVP award goes to Danielle, who seemed to be on the ground, diving for the ball, every time we saw her.

Kacie blew it this week. 
She has been on this show before, so you would think she knows that discussing drama with the bachelor and getting involved in issues that aren't your own ruins everything. I have never understood why girls take the only 5 minutes they get with the guy over a 7 day period to talk about someone else. 
I felt bad for her because she just lost it. 
"I want you to act like Kacie...not this crazy person I'm seeing"
Also, her dress was so short and so disco skating neon.

Tierra's fall.
ABC is notorious for over the top promos that get us excited for legit drama that ends up being so lame. Last night was no exception, even though I had hope that it was going to be good. Like she got pushed down the stairs, or one of the girls put vaseline on the stairs so she slipped, but no. I'm not even sure she actually fell. I wouldn't put it past her to just sit on the stair, make noises so it sounded like she fell, and then start crying. 
However, in her defense, I too know that when the bachelor Sean comes to your aid after you are injured, you are healed. Immediately. 

Did you notice she has a capital "L" in her name? I wish they would emphasize it a bit more and not pronounce it Ashley. Seems more fun. 
AshLee is cute. I think I like her but she seems a bit old for Sean. 
I think it was fun they went to 6 Flags Magic Mountain (shout out to my mom's job as a 16yr old!) but Chris Harrison should have told her not to wear a semi fancy mini dress and platform wedges. Maybe he wasn't allowed to give her a hint because uttering those few sentances would bridge his contract, as it appears he can only say "Ladies, it's time for the rose ceremony," and "this is the final rose"

I thought it was sweet they took those 2 girls with them however, I must be true to myself and say something a bit rude/weird. 
The girl with the tube in her neck: I was so nervous that her tube was going to get pushed into her neck more while they were going on high speed rides. Anyone else? Also, I feel like her excessively long hair was a hazard. That mane was flying all over the place! I'm shocked it didn't get stuck in the rides.
I also felt so awkward when there was a romantic mini concert going on and the 2 girls had to dance with one another while Sean and AshLee got fresh. Just made me feel kinda weird. 
And as if I wasn't feeling weird enough already, Sean has to cry when she tells him about her childhood. It might have been tender but I was too far into awkward to feel any other emotion.

Sarah's dog- can dog's fly alone on planes?
who gave the producers permission to get the dog from her house?

did they send the dog back home that night or is it going to stay for the rest of her time on the show?
I know it's the bachelor, but sometimes I accidentally let realistic thoughts enter my mind over the 2 hour phenom.

Rose ceremony
It's like the girls thought they were planning the white elephant game and Sean was the prize they had to steal as fast as possible. Don't they know the rule that the prize is frozen after the third steal? 

Sean tells all the girls the same thing: 
-I am really excited to see where this goes
-I just feel really comfortable with you

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Bachelor Sean- episode #1 recap

Ladies and gentlemen, it's good to be back
I'm back in the bachelor blogging world business and it feels good!

My initial thoughts on Sean:
-hot bod. 
(am I allowed to say that now that I'm married?)
[my friend Chelsea sent me an awesomely awkward TV screen shot of Sean standing on the rocks in his blue swim know what I'm talking about. One word...YIIIIKES]

-I'm glad to see that his heartbreak from Emily didn't spoil his fitness regimen and whole foods diet 
-his skin color makes me feel weird because it's not even close to real. it's like his whole face is the same color
-he seems super sweet and super cheesy, which turns out, I'm into most of the time. Poor Lane
-He wants to 'be rich in love'
-He only wears American Apparel V-neck shirts that are too tight 
-His jeans are all pretty awful looking. 

-How sad/awesome is it that ABC had to bring Arie on this segment to make Sean seem funny?
-Arie and Sean's conversation about how to kiss brought back awful flashbacks of sleepovers in 6th grade
-Also, I like that 2 losers are giving love/kissing advice. Neither one of them won the last season, so maybe they should try something new? Ya know, like touch the face is the left hand and move the hair with the right? 

-What is a professional organizer?
I think I need one to come to my closet/room

-Selma just happens to carry a tissue in her bosom? Weird, me too

-The girl with the handshake: lamest handshake ever
go back to 1994, or 4th grade..whichever came first

-The cruise ship entertainer: worst hair ever. worst dress ever

-BACKBEND GIRL: thank goodness for tivo. watched that thing on repeat. frame by frame. slow motion. not sure why she thought a backbend was a good entrance, let alone in a ballgown!

-Blue 32. Blue 32. 
Oh, the pickup lines I learn from reality TV
Watch out Lane...I'm trying this one out tonight!

-A bridal gown! 
I'm actually surprised that no girls have tried this before. Aren't you? If you think about it, I'm genuinely shocked.
I can't believe Sean kept her. She was a drunken mess.

-50 shades of crazy girl
50 shades of drunk and 50 shades of embarrassing
I think you should wait to tie up your significant other until after the first kiss. I mean, unless they are into that or something. Whatever.
When the person you are trying to flirt with mentions needing a rape whistle, I think it's over.
"Don't be mad, mom!"

-Turquoise barbie has a speech impediment or doesn't open her mouth when she talks. I almost couldn't understand a word she said.

-Kacie B.
What a hot surprise. Ashley White said that she had great legs but then I reminded her that Kacie B. has an eating disorder so of course she has great legs. Disorder or not, she's hot.

Until next Monday...