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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Bachelor Sean- episode #1 recap

Ladies and gentlemen, it's good to be back
I'm back in the bachelor blogging world business and it feels good!

My initial thoughts on Sean:
-hot bod.hot bod.hot bod. 
(am I allowed to say that now that I'm married?)
[my friend Chelsea sent me an awesomely awkward TV screen shot of Sean standing on the rocks in his blue swim trunks...you know what I'm talking about. One word...YIIIIKES]

-I'm glad to see that his heartbreak from Emily didn't spoil his fitness regimen and whole foods diet 
-his skin color makes me feel weird because it's not even close to real. it's like his whole face is the same color
-he seems super sweet and super cheesy, which turns out, I'm into most of the time. Poor Lane
-He wants to 'be rich in love'
-He only wears American Apparel V-neck shirts that are too tight 
-His jeans are all pretty awful looking. 

-How sad/awesome is it that ABC had to bring Arie on this segment to make Sean seem funny?
-Arie and Sean's conversation about how to kiss brought back awful flashbacks of sleepovers in 6th grade
-Also, I like that 2 losers are giving love/kissing advice. Neither one of them won the last season, so maybe they should try something new? Ya know, like touch the face is the left hand and move the hair with the right? 

-What is a professional organizer?
I think I need one to come to my closet/room

-Selma just happens to carry a tissue in her bosom? Weird, me too

-The girl with the handshake: lamest handshake ever
go back to 1994, or 4th grade..whichever came first

-The cruise ship entertainer: worst hair ever. worst dress ever

-BACKBEND GIRL: thank goodness for tivo. watched that thing on repeat. frame by frame. slow motion. not sure why she thought a backbend was a good entrance, let alone in a ballgown!

-Blue 32. Blue 32. 
Oh, the pickup lines I learn from reality TV
Watch out Lane...I'm trying this one out tonight!

-A bridal gown! 
I'm actually surprised that no girls have tried this before. Aren't you? If you think about it, I'm genuinely shocked.
I can't believe Sean kept her. She was a drunken mess.

-50 shades of crazy girl
50 shades of drunk and 50 shades of embarrassing
I think you should wait to tie up your significant other until after the first kiss. I mean, unless they are into that or something. Whatever.
When the person you are trying to flirt with mentions needing a rape whistle, I think it's over.
"Don't be mad, mom!"

-Turquoise barbie has a speech impediment or doesn't open her mouth when she talks. I almost couldn't understand a word she said.

-Kacie B.
What a hot surprise. Ashley White said that she had great legs but then I reminded her that Kacie B. has an eating disorder so of course she has great legs. Disorder or not, she's hot.

Until next Monday...

2 comments:

  1. Ok Jenna, I have never watched a Bachelor Episode in my life. I was folding laundry today and I remembered that you posted on FB that you did a Bachelor review so I decided to watch it while doing laundry. Whelp.... I'm hooked. I read all your commentary and I am laughing out loud! Turquoise barbie was driving me NUTS with her lips/mouth, the back bend was hilarious, and 50 shades of gray girl was soooo funny, in a "I feel embarrassed for her" kind of funny. I agree, I was really surprised wedding dress girl was picked. And yes, I want Kacie B's legs too. Looks like an intense season to come! I'm going to look forward to folding laundry more than ever before! :)

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  2. After reading this for the second time I realized you were talking about me...first time I think you ever used my married last name...not sure how I feel about it. So glad we could share the first ep together!!!! Awesome recap.

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