Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Bachelorette Des- Episode 1

AAAAnd we're back!
I can't tell you how excited I am to have some good TV back in my life!

Bachelorette Des... how do we feel about her? Do we like her? Think she is cute?

-Her civic is about to fall apart
-Nice blue Bentley.
-She has gotten even skinnier
-Her make up artist must be an intern. It's terrible
-She had cried 3 times within the first 12 minutes of the show
-How awkward... "ok, now we want you to go chase the birds and then dip your feet in the Ocean"
[Lane quickly pointed out that I would gladly go chase birds if I was getting paid was Des was getting paid]

Des- Loved her dress. It was a long, skinny, disco ball.

No shirt stripper- Why was he naked on his balcony? That's how he creatively keeps himself entertained ???? Put a shirt on....or don't. I mean, you're abs are not ugly. 

Liam Hensworth- LA ad agency. "twirling sign inventor" Do we really think he started the sign twirling business? Riiiight. He looks so much like Liam (Mylie Cyrus's fiance) it's unreal.

Knight in shinning armor- I'm surprised this move hasn't been tried before. I felt so bad for him though because all the guys in the house were ripping on him.

Hot dad Ben- Yes, you played the kid card. Yes, it was a smart move. Yes, I really like you.

Brooks- The token SLC star. I think he needs to wash his hair, but I like his name and his face is pretty cute.

The magician!!!!! My roommate in college loved a magician  so I sort of have a soft spot in my heart for a magician. He seemed normal, other than he is a magician. Hilarious. 

Overnight card- At first I thought he was trying to be funny when he handed Des the date night card when he got out of the limo, but I quickly realized he wasn't joking. WHAT A FREAK. He totally had a Jake Pavelka vibe. I mean, he was seriously doing push ups to try and prep? Creepy city. 

Iraq war veteran- He seems really nice and normal. How funny was it that Des laughed at him when he said his dog was his BFF?

Juan Pablo- Say "who" now say "one" Who-one 
How could Des seriously not say "Pablo?" She should just call him JP.

Kasey- #youreannoying #stopsayinghashtag #yourenotfunny #orcute

Larry- wouldn't you just die if he was your doctor? Also, maybe he isn't a doctor because it seemed more like he was a magician trying to make his glasses disappear and reappear like every 2 seconds during his one-on-one time with Des. 
Also, how did he get 50 people to let him practice dipping them?

Chicago high-fiver- His face looks like Hitch(Will Smith) after he has an allergic reaction. Please tell me you know what I'm talking about. 

The dental student- Bad move to wear your lab coat. It's ugly. You're no McDreamy or McSteamy. You are more a ballroom dancer.

Bring on the man tears
Spray tans
Fist punches

You know there's nothing I love more.