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Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Juan Pablo - episode 4

If you were wondering why I have the smallest eyes, now you know; it's because I grew up in Seoul, South Korea. I lived there for 8 years and felt Korean by the time we left. It was my home. They were my people. I loved seeing all the tourists sights that used to be my stomping ground, along with the nasty street food vendors that I wanted nothing to do with, and still don't.

And just for the record, I've stayed in that exact Hilton hotel room in Korea, so it's like I was on this episode. If you don't think that's enough to make it like I was on the episode, I've also been to nearly every place they went. So yes, I dated Juan Pablo in Seoul, Korea.

If you would like a Korean lesson, here you go:
"bo-bo-jew-say-oh" = please kiss me
"sah-rhang-hey-oh" = I love you
"sah-gay-hey-jew-ship-she-o" = discount please

To say I'm fluent in Korean would be an understatement. I mean, I know the 3 most important phrases in their language! 

And because I am half Korean, the following bugs me:
-"Korea? I don't even have a kimono"... uh, that's Japan, sweetie

GROUP DATE
-K.POP - I was into it. I knew Korean rap songs and my sister and I used to perform them for the family. I'm telling you-- I thought I was Korean.
-Way to JP's heart... dancing. He'd be so into me
-"K.POP is as big as the spice girls back in the day"... that's the most recent reference JP could come up with?
-Nikki just kept it in her comfort zone of just the side step, just like Hitch taught her. I respect her for that.
-I expected more out of the NBA dancer. Her skills got her a baby daddy, so I had higher expectations for her. 
-Kat really can dance but she was so annoying about it
-Oh, we are taking a picture? Better bust out the peace sign
-"I got a job and moved to Arizona because my dad was an alcoholic for my whole life..." Yeah, I don't see the connection there, Kat.
-How do these girls like JP so much when they don't actually have real conversations with him? They seem so one-sided.
-"I'm a great diaper changer." Yeah, she's 6...Camilla isn't in diapers.

SHARLEEN
-Why does she bug me so bad?
-I hate Opera. Call me ignorant but I just can't stand it. 
-Why does he like her so much?
-She just told him that she basically doesn't want children and then he immediately hands her the rose? How does that happen?

GROUP DATE
-Things must be getting really wild if you're spelling 'crazy' with a 'K' -- that's a true sign
-I would be the Clare on the date. I do NOT do food from the ocean. I would have made them force feed me the Octopus and it would have ended with me crying and dry heaving. OK, I mean throwing up. (I'm not exaggerating... that has actually really happened to me)
-"I want a kiss" and JP responds with "Sorry, I can't. I have a daughter" How dumb would you feel? That's like when someone tells you they love you and you say thank you. You just feel so dumb. 
-I'm sure boys love to hear that you threw up in your mouth and then swallowed it. That's super hot, Clare.
-Andi is one of my favorites

ROSE CEREMONY
-How does the dog lover keep getting a rose? 
-He kept the black girl even though we didn't see her once in this whole episode but got rid of the cute teacher he seemed to think was darling? Sometimes I don't get this show.
-Poor Lauren got rejected on the kiss and then the rose ceremony? She might go hurt herself now... so sad.

The best part of the entire episode was Juan Pablo lip syncing to the Korean K.Pop song during the credits. Give me more JP videos like that. 

1 comment:

  1. You're right, why the heck does Kelly get a rose? I like andi and at first I thought sharleen may be interesting but.... She's gross and she doesn't seem like a good fit for Camilla. Sometimes I don't understand

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