Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Juan Pablo- episode 5

I know you all just want to talk about Clare, but we will get to that...promise. 

-I want every date to begin with a boy pedaling me around in a little cart
-They had tender physical moments with one another that made it seem very sweet
-"she looks good on that dress" JP's ESL teacher would not be proud of the English he kept exhibiting during this date!
-Juan Pablo is such a charmer
-I would be very happy for Renee if her and JP worked out because they really do have a good single parents connection
-KISS HER already!
-"When I get married, I want a girl that looks like Renee" -- my 16 year old brother
-I want those water lanterns. It's like the Chinese love lanterns but for the water! 

Group Date
-Stop making out with Clare! Why is it OK for him to mak all up on Clare but can't kiss Renee, even when he really likes her and gave her a rose? Sounds like an excuse to me. 
-Chelsie- what the h-e- double... are you wearing?
-All he has to say is "trust me" in his little darling accent, smile and these girls just melt. He's going to end up breaking each one of their hearts. 
-Clare is so rude! What are all the other girls doing while she and Juan Pablo take off for like 7 hours and go make out in his jacuzzi?
-The opera singer loves backless dresses. But she should stop.
-"he sees me as a panda in a room full of brown bears" WWHHHATTT? I don't even know what that means or how she came up with that, but I do know that I might start using that as my go-to compliment line. I will now be looking for a boy who sees ME as panda bear as well. Send the exotic, bear-loving men my way, please!
-Juan Pablo just keeps making me think he's a womanizer. He talks about how he won't kiss these girls but it's like make out, after make out, after hot tub sesh, after make out sesh. 
-4am hotel room visit? Ok, Michelle Money 

-I'm really not into her hair
-I think it's funny that all these girls are so afraid of these repelling/jumping situations because it's not like ABC would let something happen. I think they probably try it out before to make sure it's safe. 
-"I'm super compassionate and I have a big heart" -- I love self proclaimed compliments/attributes 
-Sick kids are the happiest kids? I think every Mom in America will disagree with that comment. 
-Doesn't sticking your finger in a light socket hurt? Falling in love with JP is painful? I think it was a bad analogy, girlfriend.
-Also, am I the only one who doesn't think she is pretty? Does that make me a bad person? 

Clare vs. Juan Pablo
-I need to take a poll.... 
     Did Juan Pablo and Clare have sex?
I might be naive, but I didn't think they did. But if they didn't, then why is he saying that making out at 4am in the ocean is disrespecting his daughter? I'm all sorts of confused, however, I don't buy any of it. I think Clare wanted to mambo with JP and JP wanted to mambo with Clare. Then, producers were like, um, JP... you keep pulling the 'I have a daughter' card so now we need to figure out a way to make it seem like you regret what you did. AAAAnd enter the 'what we did was wrong' conversation. 
-Juan Pablo knew exactly what was going down during a 4am hotel room visit that started out 99% naked in the ocean. Hello, he does have Latin hips, after all. 

Rose Ceremony
-Boom, JP just goes in for the kiss like woah. Mid sentence and all. You finally got your kiss, Renee. 
-Clare talks like a little mouse
-Clare is not emotionally stable and gets a creepy, giant, cry vein in the middle of her forehead.
-He cried when he sent home 3 girls that we never saw him talk to? What's his reaction going to be when he sends someone home that he actually likes?

OK, I hate this word, but something about JP is just sexy. Like when he does little things, I seriously smile. Yep, sitting on my couch alone, in sweats, I find myself smiling. 
Yep, I shouldn't have typed that, but I did and I'm not hitting backspace. 

I love to hate Juan Pablo, but I really hate to love him so much!