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Thursday, January 15, 2015

Prince Farming - episode 2

You've all probably been wondering who won the battle of the Monday TV night viewing... well, Shawn watched the football game in the basement, and I watched the superior quality programming on the main level with my cousins and sister. I have a feeling this won't be the first time we watch different shows, simultaneously, yet on different floors of the house. 

-- Kimberly walks back in...cue creepy music
     How was he not going to take her back? She guilted him big time 

-- Zip up hoodie without a shirt? Guess that's cool nowadays?

-- Nothing like showering outside


POOL PARTY
-- "I'm more kardashian than I am county" 

     Girlfriend, we know. Nothing about you looks real

-- Overalls? - guess that's cool nowadays too? She and Chris have equally awesome fashion sense.

--Why is she smashing her head against the wall? She is going to ruin his helmet!


--Crossfit needs new bikini bottoms. If the producers have to black out the back AND front, you've got a problemo, and that's just not cute.

GROUP DATE
--I love Tandra. She seems cute


-- Belly chain ring?

     Is that a thing? You guys, I'm confused by the shirtless sweatshirt situation, the overalls and now the belly chain ring. The common denominator in all these is ME.... maybe it's me. I must be way out of touch with fashion? NOT!

--Juelia's story was too deep for this show

     I felt sad when she was sharing her story, but it just seemed a little too real and a little too deep for this show. Especially right after we are watching drunk idiots ram their heads into walls.

-- A one-on-one with the overall clad 5head? Guess the overalls worked. I'm surprised I landed Shawn because I don't own a pair! 

MCKENZIE
--Nose fettish, but why does that no surprise me?


--She likes big noses. That's weird. That's why plastic surgeons were invented. Just ask all my extended family. 


--Do you believe in aliens? Yep, she's definitely 21.

     Maybe Mckenzie IS one. I mean, she kind of looks like one.

--Did he give her the rose because she has a kid and he couldn't let her go after she said she was a mom? 
Just throwing that out there.

--Did she really count all her kisses and then tell everyone about it?
     That's one quick way to make sure every girl in the house hates you.

MEGAN
--Annoying. Dumb. 

     She thought a date card was a love note? Has she ever seen this show? 
     Do you think her make up is so great that you would guess she is a makeup artist? I only wear mascara and bronzer, so I really shouldn't weigh in, but that was my novice opinion.

--Helicopter on episode #2? That's usually an episode #4 or #5 move.

--Why is Chris' shirt unbuttoned to his navel? 

     Please tell me you noticed that. We know he has large and defined pecs, but come on! Let's leave something to the imagination

--Terrible first date outfit, girlfriend. Very jr high


--"The butterflies in my stomach are colorful and smiling and fluttering" 

     Sounds like a quote on the front of a Lisa Frank notebook 

--You want to go for a walk? Yeah, I'll take the rose with me... it can be like a walking stick. Totally normal.

--Blue eyes? 

     Nice compliment but I'm sure they are contacts

GROUP DATE

--Zombies

     I am so over the zombie thing

-- Ashley S. is retarded

     She acts like she took 7 Xanex and then chased it with hard liquor

--I don't want to be on this date ever


--Chris said the girls looked so sexy on their date?

     Shooting zombies - so sexy. Nothing sexier. I agree.

--"You guys really killed it today"

     Once again. Prince Farming charms us with his uber clever humor

--Stop drinking. Everyone. Why can't anyone control their liquor? Makes me so glad I don't drink because these girls are acting like fools.


--Katilin is a Miley Cyrus lookalike - "she is cool" according to Chris

     I'll be honest, she's a baby bit funny and she's kind of pretty when she closes her mouth normal and doesn't do the pouty lips thing. Otherwise, there are lots of bad things going on.

--Did you see how much lipstick Chris had on? His lips were bright pink! #classy 


--I'm more scared of Ashley than any zombie
     I don't even know what to say about Ashley


--Disney process- Britt- free kiss card? I want one of those.


COCKTAIL PARTY
--Genie belly button ring? Must be a New Jersey thing

     That virgin can kiiiiisssss
     The bigger the hoops, the bigger the ho, or so I've heard. And by the way homegirl was kissing, she might have proven that statement to be true.
     She should ride her magic carpet right off this show. Either that or use one of her wishes to ask for a redo on her makeout session with Chris.


--Flight attendant looks like Kylie Jenner

--Mckenzie is weirdly obsessed with Belly Genie being a virgin. She just keeps getting weirder

THE ROSE CEREMONY
--Crossfit almost crashed and burned. I was dying. And then, he wasn't even calling her name! Best 3 seconds of the episode. Then she had to keep laughing all weird just to overcompensate for her awkwardness. I just can't get enough.

--He really let cute Tandy go and kept crazy Ashley S. 
     I am really starting to think this show is scripted
     I'm sure many of you have thought that for years, but I'm a sucker, so judge away. 

--Kimberly got the boot on night #1 and night #2, and all she got was a pool party and a tractor race in downtown LA. Hope her embarrassment was worth a super lame group date!

RANDOM THOUGHTS
#1 - Chris might be really boring. And maybe mumbles and talks really quietly? Not into all of the above
#2 - This episode was subpar and so were the dates. Can't wait for all these previews they keep showing
#3 - There is no way that Chris actually wanted to keep Ashley S. --She's acting like E.T

I'm ready for this season to get good. 

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