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Thursday, February 12, 2015

South Dakota is for lovers

--These dates are so low budget. 
--I want foreign, overseas, exotic dates!
--I am not a legit producer, but I might need to apply. I have some better date ideas.


--Kelsey just keeps getting crazier.
--"I am the one he's going to fall in love with and marry" um...okay? Cocky city. 
Fake. Fake. Fake.

--South Dakota is now the perfect place to fall in love? Really?
     No one has ever thought that. Ever.
     It's called Deadwood. For a reason.
     Where are the deserted beaches and exotic lands flowing with milk and honey? Did The Bachelor/ABC take a budget cut?

--Kelsey deserves the one on one because she went through a hard thing. Whatever. She's so annoying. And super weird.
--Why is Britt just standing outside in a bra? I would too if I had that body, but I also can't pretend that it's not weird.
--"I am blessed with eloquence and I use big words because I'm smart" -Kelsey
     I can't wait for her to eat some humble pie.
     When producers focus on overly confident comments, you know a heartbreak is coming, and guess what? I.CAN'T.WAIT.

BECCA DATE
--I love that she laughs at his laugh. It's about time someone made fun of that high-pitched giggle situation.
--"I've never felt this way before" (
Michelle Money has started making t-shirts with awesome phrases from the show and I think this should be one.) 
--"If I kiss him, my dad is going to see...Sorry, Dad!" 
     Hahahahah how cute was that? She's way too normal to be on this show!
     Girl has morals, something you aren't supposed to have when you're a contestant on The Bachelor. Please don't waste your time, Becca! But on a more serious note, want to hang out in San Diego when I go home next?

COUNTRY GROUP DATE
--Big & Rich rock!
--Running down the street with Jade is so weird.
     Maybe because I work for a TV station, but I kept thinking about the poor camera guy who had to run beside them. 
--How are you supposed to write a love song about a guy you like, who you are watching make out with another girl? That's ridiculous, right?
     I would have written a song about that, instead of some sentimental, lovey-dovey anthem. 
     More like, I want to "save the horse and NOT ride the cowboy" type of song. Just sayin'.
--Chris is majorly tone deaf. His song made me want to poke my eyes out - not dramatic or anything.
--Whitney was almost as bad as Chris. Match made in heaven?
--Why did Chris just open his eyes when he was kissing? Isn't that bad karma or something?
--For being a professional singer, Carly wasn't that good.
     Also, I can't handle her eyebrows. I know I've mentioned it before, but really. It's bad. 
     I should write into the producers and ask for a makeover date because she might have some potential. If it happens, I might request extensions help too. Might as well do it all.

--I can't believe that Chris took Britt to Big & Rich alone. SO rude! 
     It was more like a proposal date, not a group date - Pulling her up on stage, asking her in front of the crowd, dancing around, kissing, changing the lyrics to accommodate Chris.... all of it = so rude to the other girls on the group date. But I was really jealous, too.
     This was pre-planned. So, so rude. I felt so bad for the girls. I would feel humiliated too. I mean, he even made Kaitlyn cry and she seems like she doesn't even have feelings, so that's really saying something.
--Not giving away the rose in front of the other girls was appropriate and less rude? 
     Was giving it out at a public concert more appropriate? Lame excuse.
     I get what he was trying to say, but I think the girls would have rather seen him hand Britt a rose, and ALL go to the concert, than sit and wonder where the two of them ran off to for an hour. #awkward
--Want to know why Britt and Chris have such a strong connection? 
     Because they didn't just take a nap last episode. PAH-LEASE. Unless that's what the kids are calling it these days, nap was code. Plain & simple.
     Wait until he finds out that she doesn't shower. That connection isn't going to be so strong anymore. Well, I hope.

TWO ON ONE DESERT DATE
--They look opposite: 
Kardashian vs. Kmart model
     Did you see Kelsey's necklace? It looked like the painted macaroni shell necklace you made in preschool.
--Kardashian just wants to make out. She is aggressive to the max!
     I know her eyelashes look ridiculous but I really love them.
--Kelsey always talks about winning, but now she doesn't think it's a game?
     This girl has a secret agenda for coming on this show. I just feel it. 
     Sidenote: I still need to post about last weeks episode, but I want to let you in on something...... HER HUSBAND WAS 43. SHE WAS 19. 'Nuff said.
--"I am a woman" Thanks for sharing, Kelsey, but you forgot to add [crazy].
--Death stare!!!! Maybe Kelsey's husband actually died from her looking at him that way. Yikes.
--Where was Chris when he left the two girls to sit on the bed in the desert? 
     Potty break? That situation was completely planned - the girls aren't usually left alone to hang out, without the bachelor, on a two-on-one date. Totally set up.
--"I'm not from Pleasantville, I'm from 2014."
     These quotes just keep getting better and better.
Stop crying.
Stop running.
Stop being so annoying. Take your crop top home.

--Chris might as well have said, "Bye. I'm leaving you in this desert to die, suckers."
     I love the editing on this show. They make it look like he leaves them in opposite corners of the waste land, oops, "Badlands", only to watch him fly away in his helicopter. 
--I couldn't be happier that Kardashian and the widow are gone.

--Kelsey must be insane, based on the reaction ALL the girls had when they found out she was outta there. I have never seen girls jump on couches and want to get drunk over a girl going home. Kelsey be nuts, yo!

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