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Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Bachelorette Kaitlyn: Episode 2

-the healer's vest is AMAZING. So much American pride
-Britt sure wears a lot of neon teen bracelets
-Brady talks like he is high

GROUP DATE #1
-"Laila Ali is a big deal if you know anything about anything." 
Well, guess I know nothing about everything because I've never heard of her.  
-"I forgot Kupah was on this date" -- Kaitlyn
     Not a good sign, my friend
-Who is going to win?
     Yeah, my money is NOT on the fashion designer; he seems frail
-"My idea of going to the gym is sitting in the steam room for 30 minutes" 
     I'm with you!
-Jared has creepy chest hair
     Jared is shockingly good. Ben Z is HUGE-those arms!- and has him by 50 lbs, so I am nervous that this isn't going to end well. But then again, Jared is the super hero, 'Love Man' and probably has special super hero strength, so he might be great after all 
-How do they think no one is going to get hurt when they do these types of dates? 
     They did a boxing date a few seasons back and someone got hurt on that season, too.  It's always going to be a bad idea when you have adrenalin-filled men, boxing to win the attention of a girl. 
-Ben Z. .... I like you
-Arellious? What the is that name?
     Justin, you are terrible for giving your son that name
-Jared looks like someone who would be on American Ninja Warrior
-Clint for the first one-on-one date? Shocked me
-JJ ... You are annoying and overly confident. I have a feeling he's going to be a trouble maker
-Ben Z. seems like such a man. A huge man. Congrats on the rose!

ONE-ON-ONE WITH CLINT
-It makes me feel weird that the girl has to drive, plus the guy always looks so uncomfortable
     Maybe I am a princess, but my Shawn always drives. Always.
-He looks like a Disney prince in character form
-Underwater photoshoots are all the rage? What rage?
     I guess I wasn't that cool because Shawn and I did our photo shoot on land
     If we could just go back in time, that's the one thing I would change about our wedding. Underwater photoshoot for sure. 
-The healer has so many wise words. Love is about.... Love is about...
-Oh, I am a total nose plugger. Always plugging. And here is the proof. Not as cute as it was in my head. It also makes me look like I am doing gang signs, but really I'm just plugging away!

-An underwater photo shoot is so weird and I think I would love doing it. May be not for engagements, but it would be hilarious. 
-Let's also talk about how an underwater kiss seems like it would be really romantic, but if it's more than just a peck, you have to open your mouth, which means water will go in, making it so you have to spit the water back out when you come up... get where I'm going with this? Or you have to breathe out which sometimes makes air bubble and other things come out of your nose. I mean, I'm willing to test it out this weekend and report back, but I see a lot of room for error. 
-Clint seems pretty quiet. Kaitlyn keeps doing all the talking.
     "I really like you" - K
     "Me too" - C
     "This has been a fun date" - K
     "I agree" - C
     SO DEEP. 
-Clint is a hunk of man? Isn't that exactly what she said about Ben Z? Girl needs some more description words.

GROUP DATE #2
-OK, I really don't know anything because I don't know who this comedian is. I'm 0 for 2 on knowing the celeb appearances this episode. 
     Street cred is now little to none. 
-JJ is great but he's missing humility, charisma and a sense of humor ... NAILED IT!
-Old Spice -- pretty good one liner
-Welder -- not that funny, maybe because I didn't super get it
-Dentist -- if it's not going well, unbutton your shirt -- OK!
-The healer -- the speech was hilarious
    Every time he talks I feel like I'm at the therapist or that I need a therapist. Probably both.
    "I will open myself fully to Kaitlyn but still maintain and open mind to the signs that Universe sends me" -- How can you not love him?
    Everything he says makes me laugh, yet leaves me so confused at the same time. And how about that time he referred to her as Britt and was corrected? oops.
-Kaitlyn is just a make out queen
-Kentucky Joe-- I'm into your accent

ROSE CEREMONY
-JJ is annoying
     This isn't church camp...good one, you're so funny...NOT!
     Go back home to your parent's
-Ian seems very genuine and real
     I would put him in my top 5
-Kupah says he hates the boxing? Lies!
     He just made that up because she called him out for not talking to her. He was 100% into boxing and was loving his private lesson time with the pros. And his babbling makes him sound like an idiot.
     Kaitlyn just brought down the hammer. Boom. She ain't messing around.
     He is a train wreck. Is he drunk? 

-Where was Shawn/Ryan Gosling this episode? He didn't get any screen time and I'd like to file a complaint!

To be continued? Again?
Lame. That's twice now this season and there have only been two episodes! 

Brady just asked Britt to be his girl? Isn't that so middle school?
Is anyone buying this? If so, then let's ditch the Bachelor/Bachelorette series and just give 'em one shot at love...take it or leave it. Britt took it! 
They both seem pretty desperate, and according to the Instagram, they have been posting pictures with one another, which means they have been dating since the season was shot three months ago. True love for sure, right? HAHAHAHA.

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