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Thursday, June 25, 2015

Bachelorette Kaitlyn: Episode 6

Another to be continued, continues...


-Ian is rude
     must have gotten a degree in rude from Princeton 
     there is a difference between honesty and being rude, and he's just being rude at this point.
     He thinks he is all classy and awesome because he went to Princeton (are you getting sick of hearing 'Princeton' because I was too) but in reality, he looks classless 
-Ian, then just leave
-I am glad that Kaitlyn is defending herself a little bit
-"I went to Princeton. That's what I have to offer. I'm not lame like the other guys"
     "They don't teach movie quotes at Princeton"
     They must not teach how to keep your dignity on national TV either
     Princeton might take his degree away, now that he has defamed their name
-How many times has Ian said "deep"? More or less than he has said "Princeton"? 
-Ian needs to have some sex but he is sick of talking about it? He's too deep to talk about sex but not too deep to want to have it. OK. 
-I don't think too many girls would be 'coming out of the wood work' to date Ian after his self-promoting rampage "I'd be the best bachelor"
     He would be the best bachelor if our goal was to poke our eyes out after each episode. Then yes, he would be killer.
-Nick is manipulative
     He is totally being there for Kaitlyn while she is angry & hurt. He is telling her all these things he loves about her and is comforting her. This is a genius move on his part. However, may be not a genuine move.

-What is cupcake's magenta/maroon suit? 
-Can Idaho Welder please fix his hair? I'm sure he can find another set of buzzers to even the hair out
-Could her dress be any lower in the back? Made me nervous
-I think Joshua had the best of intentions but just kept continually shooting himself in the foot. 
     I feel bad for him. I think he really is a good guy. Not a match for her, but a good guy nonetheless. 
     Who else can rock that crazy Kaitlyn "cut"? Has she ever cut hair before?

Onto Dublin...
-"Kaitlyn is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" - Cupcake
-She needs a wardrobe stylist
-And so does Nick. What is that jacket?

NICK ONE ON ONE
-"I wore a holey sweater for you, so you could touch my back"
     Class, class, class
-Again, the fear of birds is so confusing, considering she has two bird tattoos
     Does she not think it's ironic and a wee bit embarrassing?
-Nick looks like an idiot dancing
-They need to stop making out. It's annoying
-I am really glad they are going to have dinner in a church, right before they go get down in her hotel room. I mean, I am pretty sure that's what is about to happen. How ironic. 
-This love fest in the church is making me feel so uncomfortable. 
-Did you think it was weird that she kept saying Nick made her feel like a woman? 
-I have gotten nothing out of this date except that they are horny
-oh. my. awkward. Fast forward please
     How is this allowed on TV?
-They drank a lot of whiskey. IT was intimate. 

GROUP DATE
-Holy hot Shawn
-"Worst dead person ever" Haha 
     Chris Harrison is funny. I wish he made an appearance more often
-Tanner, that was a funny poem
-Chris was disgusted that Jared kissed a dead person? He's weird
    why is he singing? Please stop
-Ben H. had a weird speech
-Shawn -- I am DYING. I seriously laughed so hard and even started clapping my hands. 
     "I'm sorry to hear you took your own life, but I would have too, if I hade to spend all day with Nick" 
    That is HILARIOUS. 
-This is a pretty weird date idea. It's like Kaitlyn just wanted to hear the guys say a bunch of nice things about her
-Have you noticed that when she is saying something sincere, she never looks them in the eyes? She always looks down
    Conversation with Ben Z. = Case in point
-I love that Jared just called her laugh obnoxious and she didn't get offended. That's just funny
-She says she is so happy when these boys tell her they are falling in love with her or when they open up to her, but she just had sex with Nick?
     That is so hard for me to grasp 
     Wouldn't you feel bad having a guy saying he was falling in love with you, knowing you just slept with someone else the night before?
     Seems a bit sick and twisted to me
-I would love to see Shawn go all hot personal trainer rogue on Nick
-Why would you give the rose to Jared over Shawn? 
    Shawn is so much hotter. Come on!
-I totally get where Shawn is coming from. You know what the possibilities of this show are when you go on, but at the same time, when the bachelorette is telling you that you are the one, it's hard to see other people get the rose, and to know that you are being physical with others. May be Kaitlyn should just stop saying comments like that. 


-The Cranberries? They couldn't get someone with a little more star power?

-Shawn and Kaitlyn stayed up laying on his bed chatting for 6 hours and she told him he is the one and he's the one at the end?
    I would be super mad too. 
    He is 100% validated in my opinion.
    You know that the bachelorette goes on other dates while you are dating, but that's it. you don't sign up for intimate nights with multiple people. Not cool, Kaitlyn.  


-Why can't ABC just put an entire episode in a night? Has there been a single episode where they put all the material into the two hour show? 

Bachelorette Kaitlyn: Episode 5

(Sorry this is a week late--we were at the lake)

-a cool chick vs. an amazing woman = good point, Idaho
-I don't ever remember seeing Tanner, but I think I like him 
-Nick vs. the 12 guys
     awkward how they were all sitting on the opposite side from him
-Shawn does sound like Matthew McConahey in the Lincoln car commercials
-Citi Field --- I didn't know what that was, but I'm sure all the dudes that watch with their wives love it
-Nick coming into the season was the best thing to happen to JJ. He's no longer the villain

ROSE CEREMONY
-JJ is wearing high water pants. I get that he's trying to show off his socks, but it just looks awkward. 
-Who is Corey? I feel like I've never seen him
-Thank you, Shawn! It's about time that someone calls her on the carpet. That was a real, real conversation
     If you have a strong connection with someone, you don't invite another guy on the show. Her actions are not matching up with her words. He nailed it on the head. 100% 
-The boys are freezing through this rose ceremony. It looks miserable
-Nick's hair is so gross
-I didn't remember the names of the 3 guys she sent home, so I feel fine about it. 

BEN H. ONE ON ONE
-Two stepping might actually be a fun date
-This makes me want to be from Texas
-The grandma was creepy
-Ben is very handsome
-This dinner is the cutest set up I've ever seen. I'm loving these lights
-Ben seems great but I don't see him being the last one standing

GROUP DATE
-that's a mini dress
-The Idaho welder has become quite vocal and out spoken
-"Kaitlyn will you marriachy me?" 
     I was dying. Kentucky Joe is such a winner
     That's the funniest thing ever
-They do look hilarious but why am I kinda into it?
-Justin is gross but he did actually have a good voice
-JJ is annoying 
-Ian is too serious and has a terrible voice. Not a match
-Did you hear one of the guys say 'should we boo?' ... I wish they would have
-Nick is awful. Like his voice is killing me 
-Josh might snap. Nick is right
     Josh seems to wine a lot. He complained about JJ & Clint last time, too
-Cheers to tight pants
-Who gets a haircut in the dark? So dumb, but I can't stop laughing at his hair. I didn't really take him seriously before, but now I definitely can't
-What is 'guy intuition' Josh?
    Josh has got to get over this. He is dragging this on way too far and making this awkward for all of the other guys. 
-This is terrible. Josh just got called out in front of all the guys
-However, does Kaitlyn think that the guys are going to tell her its 100% OK or that it's 100% not OK? 
     How is she expecting everyone to always want to talk about it? 
-Kaitlyn wants this drama to be over but doesn't she just keep bringing it up?
-The only reason Kaitlyn just gave Nick the rose was to shove it in their face. 

SHAWN ONE ON ONE
-It's funny that he calls Nick 'the other guy' and won't refer to his by name
-Finally, a normal fun date that isn't a performance or a competition
-"I'm falling in love with you" on the first date!? Is he from Provo? 
     How did that just happen? I'm dying.
-And then the "I'm feeling the same way" reciprocation? Wowzaaa
-I like Shawn, but I feel like he's too good for her, true?

ROSE CEREMONY
-Ian is hilarious, not in a comical way, but in a 'did you really just say that' kind of way
    Getting women has never been an issue before. He's never flown under the radar. He's a model, a Princeton grad, an someone who defied death. How would she not want him?
     If he was the Bachelor, this would be working? If she's not interested in me, than it's her fault. This is amazing. 
-Are you hearing these quotes from Ian? These are hilarious. 
    "I have a lot of sex in my own life"

Oh weird, the show ends in the middle of an episode again. Shocker.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Bachelorette Kaitlyn: Episode 4

"people are very very very jealous"
"we are very very very close"
"we are really really really good friends"
--he must like the new Carly Rae Jeppson song,  "I really really really really really like you"

-Clint is a gooooooood liar
-JJ is the worst "friend" ever
-and Clint and JJ just broke up. Their break up was more dramatic than any break up in the history of Bachelor or Bachelorette history. 

-Why is JJ bawling his eyes out? Oh Gosh. 
    He just punched himself in the face? Seriously, who does that?

Now that we are through with that drama, can we please get on with this episode?

NEW YORK CITY RAP BATTLE
-Justin has the worst hair I've ever seen in my life
    His hair would look great in 1994
-Doug E. Fresh? I would have been more impressed with Jay-Z
-I too love to rap, and beat box
-Shawn loves county music... I knew I liked him!
-Kaitlyn loves to make a joke or try to be funny and then she just busts up laughing at herself. It's kind of awkward to watch
-JJ listened to Broadway show tunes? Maybe he should have left with Clint – I think  they may have a better shot at “happily ever after” than he and “Rapper Kaitlyn”
Ben Z. vs Tanner
     -even with steroids you won't look like me
Jonathan vs. Ryan
     -she's bored of you go back to Florida
JJ vs Corey
     -where is your boyfriend Clint?
Shawn vs Justin
     -Yes, your body Shawn is a no brainer
     -Ryan Gosling/Matt Damon? Yeah, Matt Damon is WAY hotter than Justin. You can't compare yourself to someone way hotter than you
The return of creepy Nick!!!
     -I don't remember much about him except that I really didn't like him at all. And why does Kaitlyn this he's cute?
-Every week there IS something, she's right, but she needs to start taking SOME responsibility for all this drama.
-Good point, Shawn
    If you are truly confident in what you had in front of you, you wouldn't consider bringing Nick into the season. It would totally make you feel doubt
-She kissed Nick!? Come on, Kaitlyn. So not OK!
-That's pretty rude that she just left the group date to go see Nick
     These boys totally got gypped out of a date
-How did Justin just get a rose?
-How does she think that any of the guys are going to be OK with her bringing in another guy, 4 weeks into the season? Why didn't Nick apply for the season, or show up earlier? It's pretty rude and dramatic to do it 4 weeks in

-I like Kaitlyn less and less with each episode
-Ashley knows how to have a real conversation? And can give good advice? Ashley S. for the win! 
     What she feels towards Nick is complete & total lust. 
-She sucks
     Don't bring Nick on this season. It's so rude. And yes, it's selfish. 
     I hate when people blame things on "following their heart" -- it just seems like such an excuse to me

JARED ONE-ON-ONE DATE
-I am so glad that Jared's hair doesn't look creepy for this date. 
-You can see it on Kaitlyn's face that she isn't even paying attention to him. 
-How nice of Kaitlyn to ask his opinion about Nick, right? I mean, she already made up her decision, so why not just stop talking about it?
-What a political answer, Jared
-I know I have made fun of Jared a lot, but I think I liked him on this date. He looked better with his hair combed, didn't look terrible in a tuxedo, and seemed a little funny. 
-The return of the helicopter to the Bachelor franchise
     Last season was so low budget that I swear it was the only season without a helicopter....and I missed it. I welcome back the helicopter dates with open arms.

LET'S PLAY GROUP DATE
-Another performing date? 
-Ian has many talents and singing is one of them. Thanks for letting us know!
-Kentucky was hilarious. 
-Cupcake Chris seems like a Disney prince actually. The more he got into it, the more I believed it. 
-It was hilarious that the Welder said if he acted like Cupcake did, he would get beat up when he went home. 
-These group dates don't give any one-on-one time with the guys and Kaitlyn
     They either learn something, try out, or perform, and then whoever loses goes home. Seems like a pretty pathetic group date that doesn't give the guys much time for her to get to know them. 
-That was THE MOST pathetic involvement in the play. They literally just stood on stage for like 10 seconds, maybe.  10 might be too liberal. 
     Why did they have dancing and singing tryouts? They should have held try outs to stand in place for 10 seconds and see who looked best with their shirt off. Show off them abs, boys! 
-Chris seems too pretty boy for her. Too clean cut. Too logical.

-Did anyone hear Kentucky say, "I did 7 minutes of cardio today, so I'm good to go" in regards to beating Nick up? HAHA. I couldn't stop laughing. I think I really like Kentucky. 

I will have more to say about Nick starting next week. Just you wait...


Britt and Brady are dating because of publicity. Hello! They would both be irrelevant if they hadn't started dating. 

Of course this episode ends mid-drama. Apparently we can't go one week that has an entire episode. Give me the rose ceremony!
Also, why do I feel so over this season already? Anyone else with me on that?

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Bachelorette Kaitlyn: Episode 3

THE TO BE CONTINUED, CONTINUES
-"I'm upset right now, you should know that"
     Oh, I had no idea. Thanks for clarifying, Kupah. Your behavior was so mysterious, not!
     Maybe ABC shouldn't let Kupah have a cup of alcohol as he exits. Clearly, homeboy does NOT need it

-Jared & the healer have winner black eyes. So cute
-"Stepping away from my dog and my bonsai trees...." so many sacrifices that the healer is making
     If Kaitlyn knew that he had bonsai trees to be attending to back at home, I'm sure she would send him home with the single dads. Bot have important 'people' to be attending to.
-"How is it this hard already"? 
     Yikes--that's a lot of tears round rose ceremony round 2.

SUMO GROUP DATE
-Those are some very big boys on little bikes
-Justin is really not cute
-Yama looks like a girl.... a 600 lbs girl
-"Man thong diapers" are not hot. What's wrong with you, Kaitlyn?
-Seeing all of these bare bums would make me feel so uncomfortable
-Yama is HUGE and should be wearing a lot more clothing
     It's pretty funny/gross that in Sumo you want to be as big as possible but you wear as little as possible. Who knew the ancient Japanese were so humorous?
-"A power of man meat running into each other"
     Only funny thing Jonathan has ever said
-It's hilarious that any of these boys think they can take on a 600 pounder
     It's like running into a brick wall. 
     Did you notice that Yama didn't even move?
-Tony is going to go nuts right now
     "I would be terrified if I was the other guy right now" -- Does he realize the 'other guy' is a 600 pound world champion? I'm all for a positive attitude, but come oooonnnnn
-The healer is so mad that he has to show aggression and wants to do something peaceful
     He has the heart of a warrior and sees life through the eyes of a child
     "Let's take a boat ride or go sky diving. There are other ways to connect than through violence."
     He would be an awesome beauty pageant contest because all he really, truly wants is world peace! 
     I wish I could just write every. single. thing. that Tony has said. Like just a running list of quotes. These are all so good! 
-An exhibition? Thanks (?) to these outfits, these boys are going to be exhibiting a lot more than their recently acquired sumo skills.
-Have they explained the hemp necklaces all the boys are wearing? 
     Hemp necklaces circa 1990 are not helping their looks at all
-Just let Tony go to the Zoo! He just wants to make animal noises.
    If Tony really goes home, I am going to miss his commentary.                 
    Tony has so many emotions. 
    Do you all remember the crazy girl from last season who would talk to herself? Ashley S? Well, can you imagine Ashley S. and Tony as a couple? How great would that be!?
-Wow, Clint is going to turn the tables--Wait for Kaitlyn to come talk to him? Talk about cocky. That's not exactly how this all goes. We will see how this plays out. And by see how this plays out, I mean we all know this isn't going to end well.
-Give Shawn more screen time
    Yes! Give him the rose!
-Kaitlyn just goes ahead and calls Clint out, just like that!
     She loves calling people out
-Clint just called JJ a sweetheart? Who does that? I didn't think boys called other boys--men, whatever-- sweethearts?
-RIP Tony, with an emphasis on the "P"


BEN Z. ONE-ON-ONE 
-"Ben Z. is a babe soda."
     I don't know what that means, but I think that's funny and I am kinda sad I didn't come up with it first. 
-I would not want to go on this date
-Kaitlyn is afraid of birds? Does she know she has TWO tattooed on her arms? 
     That seems ironic. 
     And it's a pigeon. hahahaha
-I'd be so mad at Chris Harrison for making me go on a date that just ended in tears and fears. 
     What is this date? Horror. I'm hating watching this, let along to be in it. I am seriously hating watching this. 
     I feel bad that Ben is having to be so brave. I'm sure he doesn't want to-- let's be real.
-The code was ROSES!?!? Why didn't they just guess that right off the bat? That would have been the easiest thing to guess. 
     Dead giveaway. Couldn't the producers have come up with something a little more creative than roses?
     Also, there is no way they truly finished the code with 4 seconds to go, right? That was so so staged. Welcome to reality shows. 
-Ben hasn't cried in 11 years? Who goes 11 years without crying? I don't go 11 days without crying 
    Well, Grey's Anatomy ended 2 weeks ago, so I guess it has been like 14 days. Don't judge. 
-Yeah, Ben Z. is hot

SCHOOL YARD GROUP DATE
-I learned everything I know about puberty from watching our cows -- the welder. HILARIOUS
-I do not want to watch this date. This is so inappropriate. 
-I would be so mad if my kids were in this class
     Did their parents sign permission slips?
-Kaitlyn is just cackling. Just loving this
-I am still feeling so weird
-Ben H. did a really good job as awkward as this all was
     And he moves into the top 5
-Jared
     I still don't understand the appeal of him. Nothing about him is appealing to me. Am I missing something? He seems a bit nice but he's not cute at all and has swirly chest hair! Someone people help me understand!
     I feel like he might be the one that she has sex with


CLINT & JJ
-At first I was thinking this was all editing, but this really looks real
-Showering together? Popping one another's zits? That's real love
    But really, because I love popping zits. Yeah, TMI. I know. 
-"I never thought about the possibility of falling in love with a man, but I believe in this process, and I'm a success story"
     My mouth is on the floor
     My eyes are wiiiide open
     I am dying. Seriously.
-You can't make this stuff up
-Clint wants a rose so he can have more time with.... JJ? OK, sounds about right
-He is such a lair! So many of these boys are big fat liars. 
    No, Kaitlyn-- do not believe him. He's not genuine at all
    He is a PIG. A PIG. He isn't interested in Kaitlyn but he's totally playing her so he can stay in the house and let his bromance  flourish. 
-"Villians gotta Vill" -- although I'm not into JJ or Clint, this is a hilarious phrase that I may or may not have (ok, I did) used on my husband last night. 
     Try it...it's funny



Another to be continued!?

enough IS enough