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Thursday, June 4, 2015

Bachelorette Kaitlyn: Episode 3

THE TO BE CONTINUED, CONTINUES
-"I'm upset right now, you should know that"
     Oh, I had no idea. Thanks for clarifying, Kupah. Your behavior was so mysterious, not!
     Maybe ABC shouldn't let Kupah have a cup of alcohol as he exits. Clearly, homeboy does NOT need it

-Jared & the healer have winner black eyes. So cute
-"Stepping away from my dog and my bonsai trees...." so many sacrifices that the healer is making
     If Kaitlyn knew that he had bonsai trees to be attending to back at home, I'm sure she would send him home with the single dads. Bot have important 'people' to be attending to.
-"How is it this hard already"? 
     Yikes--that's a lot of tears round rose ceremony round 2.

SUMO GROUP DATE
-Those are some very big boys on little bikes
-Justin is really not cute
-Yama looks like a girl.... a 600 lbs girl
-"Man thong diapers" are not hot. What's wrong with you, Kaitlyn?
-Seeing all of these bare bums would make me feel so uncomfortable
-Yama is HUGE and should be wearing a lot more clothing
     It's pretty funny/gross that in Sumo you want to be as big as possible but you wear as little as possible. Who knew the ancient Japanese were so humorous?
-"A power of man meat running into each other"
     Only funny thing Jonathan has ever said
-It's hilarious that any of these boys think they can take on a 600 pounder
     It's like running into a brick wall. 
     Did you notice that Yama didn't even move?
-Tony is going to go nuts right now
     "I would be terrified if I was the other guy right now" -- Does he realize the 'other guy' is a 600 pound world champion? I'm all for a positive attitude, but come oooonnnnn
-The healer is so mad that he has to show aggression and wants to do something peaceful
     He has the heart of a warrior and sees life through the eyes of a child
     "Let's take a boat ride or go sky diving. There are other ways to connect than through violence."
     He would be an awesome beauty pageant contest because all he really, truly wants is world peace! 
     I wish I could just write every. single. thing. that Tony has said. Like just a running list of quotes. These are all so good! 
-An exhibition? Thanks (?) to these outfits, these boys are going to be exhibiting a lot more than their recently acquired sumo skills.
-Have they explained the hemp necklaces all the boys are wearing? 
     Hemp necklaces circa 1990 are not helping their looks at all
-Just let Tony go to the Zoo! He just wants to make animal noises.
    If Tony really goes home, I am going to miss his commentary.                 
    Tony has so many emotions. 
    Do you all remember the crazy girl from last season who would talk to herself? Ashley S? Well, can you imagine Ashley S. and Tony as a couple? How great would that be!?
-Wow, Clint is going to turn the tables--Wait for Kaitlyn to come talk to him? Talk about cocky. That's not exactly how this all goes. We will see how this plays out. And by see how this plays out, I mean we all know this isn't going to end well.
-Give Shawn more screen time
    Yes! Give him the rose!
-Kaitlyn just goes ahead and calls Clint out, just like that!
     She loves calling people out
-Clint just called JJ a sweetheart? Who does that? I didn't think boys called other boys--men, whatever-- sweethearts?
-RIP Tony, with an emphasis on the "P"


BEN Z. ONE-ON-ONE 
-"Ben Z. is a babe soda."
     I don't know what that means, but I think that's funny and I am kinda sad I didn't come up with it first. 
-I would not want to go on this date
-Kaitlyn is afraid of birds? Does she know she has TWO tattooed on her arms? 
     That seems ironic. 
     And it's a pigeon. hahahaha
-I'd be so mad at Chris Harrison for making me go on a date that just ended in tears and fears. 
     What is this date? Horror. I'm hating watching this, let along to be in it. I am seriously hating watching this. 
     I feel bad that Ben is having to be so brave. I'm sure he doesn't want to-- let's be real.
-The code was ROSES!?!? Why didn't they just guess that right off the bat? That would have been the easiest thing to guess. 
     Dead giveaway. Couldn't the producers have come up with something a little more creative than roses?
     Also, there is no way they truly finished the code with 4 seconds to go, right? That was so so staged. Welcome to reality shows. 
-Ben hasn't cried in 11 years? Who goes 11 years without crying? I don't go 11 days without crying 
    Well, Grey's Anatomy ended 2 weeks ago, so I guess it has been like 14 days. Don't judge. 
-Yeah, Ben Z. is hot

SCHOOL YARD GROUP DATE
-I learned everything I know about puberty from watching our cows -- the welder. HILARIOUS
-I do not want to watch this date. This is so inappropriate. 
-I would be so mad if my kids were in this class
     Did their parents sign permission slips?
-Kaitlyn is just cackling. Just loving this
-I am still feeling so weird
-Ben H. did a really good job as awkward as this all was
     And he moves into the top 5
-Jared
     I still don't understand the appeal of him. Nothing about him is appealing to me. Am I missing something? He seems a bit nice but he's not cute at all and has swirly chest hair! Someone people help me understand!
     I feel like he might be the one that she has sex with


CLINT & JJ
-At first I was thinking this was all editing, but this really looks real
-Showering together? Popping one another's zits? That's real love
    But really, because I love popping zits. Yeah, TMI. I know. 
-"I never thought about the possibility of falling in love with a man, but I believe in this process, and I'm a success story"
     My mouth is on the floor
     My eyes are wiiiide open
     I am dying. Seriously.
-You can't make this stuff up
-Clint wants a rose so he can have more time with.... JJ? OK, sounds about right
-He is such a lair! So many of these boys are big fat liars. 
    No, Kaitlyn-- do not believe him. He's not genuine at all
    He is a PIG. A PIG. He isn't interested in Kaitlyn but he's totally playing her so he can stay in the house and let his bromance  flourish. 
-"Villians gotta Vill" -- although I'm not into JJ or Clint, this is a hilarious phrase that I may or may not have (ok, I did) used on my husband last night. 
     Try it...it's funny



Another to be continued!?

enough IS enough

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