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Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Bachelor Ben - Episode 2

-those underwear were revealing
-Lace's front teeth. woof
-And she has no upper lip...and a pig nose

GROUP DATE

-Was it a requirement that you had to wear jean booty shorts?
-or crop tops?
-Chris Harrison would make a hot principal
-Did jubilee just refer to Lace as 'the brains' of their duo? I wouldn't put my money on that
-"I will not murder Lace, but she might disappear tactfully"
     I would be appreciate, Jubilee. Make it happen!
-Placing a state on the map? I'd be so in trouble 
-I probably would have put Indiana in the same place (and sideways) like Becca & Jojo
     I claim it's because I grew up in Korea, but I can't seriously only identify 25 of the 50 states. Shawn gets embarrassed. 
-It's still a dream to be homecoming queen at age 30? Yikes, Amber

-Becca was 3 for 3 on shooting

-Ben's shirt is tight and she took that pick up line opportunity
-Jennifer got the first 'Ben initiated' kiss. Didn't see that coming
-Olivia is scary looking without make up and has a freakishly big mouth....like made me nervous kind of big
     She is actually really weird looking, no?
-Why is Lace talking in the third person? 
-Lace is nuts and annoying and just stares at Ben's lips the whole time she talks to him
     And I can't get over her teeth. They are just bad.
-Jubilee- girl got booty 
-If you have to keep telling people you're not crazy, you're probably crazy 
-Lace couldn't have asked for anything else from their one-on-one, but she didn't get a kiss, so i think she actually could have asked for more
-Jojo "I've never been this high in my entire life" 
     Guess she hasn't been on a plane? Pretty sure planes go higher than the building she was on.
-That's a pretty solid first kiss spot
-She's never been this happy in her life? Should we be worried?
-Did you see that Jubilee's job description says 'war veteran'
    The producers are awesome at creating hilarious job descriptions for these girls

Caila one on one

-Ice Cube? 
-Kevin hart is like 3 feet tall
-Ice cube has done everything from acting to rap - haha What a resume.
-They had to bring a comedian on to make it seem like Ben was more exciting?
-Liquor store?
-Hot tub store?
     This is a waste of a date
-Did you see how bad both of them were sweating on their faces in the hot tub?
-This is a really stupid date...like way stupid. Where are the helicopters? 
     Please don't let this be a super low budget Chris Soules-esque season
-Yes, the first question I asked on a first date was what the other was looking for in a relationship. No messing around- just go straight for it
-Sweet leather jacket, Ben
-Both of them have pretty bad outfits on
-Should I know who Amos Lee is?
-Can a producer help her put the rose down so she can dance?
-"Snowball's chance in you know where"
     Funny, Caila. That's like a 65 year old man joke

Group date- love lab

-The blondes just admitted that they aren't smart = awesome
-The russian speaks english? Who knew?
-And she wears blue mascara. Throwing it back to 1995. I like it.
-Smells? This is bizarre
-Olivia is trashy and Ben just told her he wouldn't kiss her in front of others -- that was classy and respectful.
-Sam smells sour? I don't know what that means, but as someone who sweats profusely as night (ask Shawn, it's bizarre), I feel so bad for her. 
     OK, I realize that comment was TMI. Lo ciento.
-How annoying is Olivia? 
     I couldn't be more mad that she won. She is obnoxious
-Is the twin crying? 
-The Russian is a cute person
-The hot mom talks like a little mouse.
     If Minnie Mouse was real, it would be Amanda
-Ben is a kissing machine
-Why is he giving Olivia the rose? Not necessary

-She just called herself "wifey"

-I don't remember Leah at all
-Dun dun dun.... Lace vs. Olivia
-Lace loves talking about Lace in the third person
-And she talks about how she acts crazy every time she talks maybe    
     Let it go and stop talking about it
-She goes from talking about how crazy she is to talking about ugly childhood photos?
     Lace should feel bad for Lace's awkward personality.
-He took her to the spot of their day 1 interaction and printed a picture of them? That was darling. 
-She has a little Kate Hudson look to her
     And that is a small little dress
-He's making rose hair berets for Amanda's kids? 
     I literally teared up. Ask Shawn. I couldn't get over the tenderness of this moment. 

-Pity rose for Lace

-The sour smell goes home
-Who is the girl in the hot pink dress who he sent home?
-Peace out dentist. Raise the roof.
-What is the dentist's dress?
-Sam might not recover from this

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